h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm... Friday. If I may indulge in a poor joke, Friday is the day to do some frying.
For breakfast this morning I fried a couple of freemason bishops. I fed the dragon a stir-fried lap dancer then took her for a walk around the prettier parts of the Depths of Hell.
I spent the day frying various assorted sinners, murderers and tax collectors. One particularly nasty accountant managed to jump out of the frying pan, but quite logically into the fire. I doomed him to eternal burning, then stamped on him.
Went to a Masked Ball in the evening. Went extremely well until midnight, when all the other guests took their masks off, and expected me to take mine off. Bwahahahaaa!!

I remember that ball, brother.
Except that, apart from taking off my mask, I accidently took off my clothes. Oh well, one day I'll get the hang of parties - I'm too used to orgies, that's my problem...

Bwahahahaaaa!!! I bet nobody complained ; at least, nobody male. Keep up the temptation, sister!

Nope, nobody male or female complained... I'm good for all-round temptations...