h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You do know what that means in Yorkshire parlance, don't you?

B

Er, no, please enlighten me...

Not to put too fine a point on it, it means that you may have taken a few people aback, if you catch my meaning.

B

Ah. Think I'll change that name then!

Oh, by the way, most bizarre CM3 incident yet:

It's 2015, I've just won the premier league with man U, 2nd place Blackburn, 3rd place Wolves, 4th place Liverpool. Fair enough.

Except: Liverpool don't get their champions league spot. Or indeed a european place of any description.

The four champions league slots go to Man U, Blackborn, Wolves and.....






Braintree Town. Who aren't even in the conference, or indeed the game's list of League or non-league teams.

Explain that one Sports Interactive....

Did they have a cup run?

I had a good 'un with the new Scunthorpe game. At the end of the first season, I arranged to sign Efe Sodje at the end of his contract. Not bad for a third division club, I thought.

Come June, Nigeria won the World Cup, and Efe Sodje was Man of the Match, keeping a clean sheet against the Germans and scoring one and creating another from defence. Next day, PSV Eindhoven bid £18m for him, so I accepted the bid, and rebuilt my entire squad. And the stadium, come to think of it.

B

They weren't even in the cup- hadn't been listed as having played a single match for about five years- truly bizarre.

How did they do in the Champions League, then?

I had a friend whose CM3 suffered similar oddities. One season Sampdoria got 'promoted' to the Premiership.

B

I don't know how they've done yet- it's only up to the second qualifying round and they aren't in yet. I can probably let you know tomorrow though...

This is getting ridiculous. I'm addicted to a CM3 game that is happening on a computer 350 miles away.

B

Okay. Own up. Which website did you use to work out the distance from Swansea to Sunderland (it can't be a very well known statistic)

It may amaze you, but I used my brain. I know that it's 210 miles from Scunthorpe to Newport, another 50 or so to Swansea, and I've driven from Scunthorpe to Tyneside innumerable times, and it's about 90 miles or so.

B

Well bloody hell. Fine logic. If I ant to know how far it is from one place to another, I searchh the net, or Microsoft Autoroute- I can't drive due to the fact that i have no depth perception (which might help explain my performance at centre-back mentioned in another thread) and would therefore be bloody dangerous. They don't have milometers (or whatever the hell they're called) on trains.

Yeah, I have done a fair amount of driving in my time, which gives you a good feel for distances.

B

Well, Braintree got beaten 3-1 on aggregate by HJK Helsinki in the 3rd qualifying round, which means they go into the UEFA Cup.

Oh, and I just got given a £575,000 shrae of a £14.75million transfer of a player from Stuttgart to Werder Bremen regardless of the fact that the player in question had never, ever, ever played for me. Weird.