h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The grunters, the screamers, the face-wipers, the prima donnas, the lingering shots on the families/boyfriends/girlfriends/coaches sitting in the guest box, the preponderance of slo-mo replays of every triumphal snarl and grimace, the lack of slo-mo replays of the actual play, and most of all the bloody jobsworth who took away the jug of Pimm's from the presenters' table

I miss Des Lyneham and Des Lyneham's striped blazer. I miss the old theme tune. I miss the rooftop setting amid the foliage and flowers, with tasteful and classy wooden furniture and the feeling it gave the viewer that you're actually there. The studio they're made to sit in now is cold, slick and completely lacking any atmosphere. I really don't care for the on-court after-match interviews. Jeez, give the player a chance to shower first.

This is all a great sadness to me because Wimbledon fortnight, as it once was, is one of the summer events (sporting or otherwise) I look forward to every year with an enormous sense of anticipation. After all, Wimbledon is the jewel in the crown of tennis. There's nothing like it anywhere else, and very few events like it left in any sport (the Lord's test, for instance). All the players and the former players praise it for that very reason. It means midsummer to me. It means being very English. It means doing things right instead of doing them to popular demand. It means a banishment of bling. It means substance over style. It means no advertising. It means the BBC doing what it does best.

Or it did. And that's a damn shame.

I hear you. Because a lot of your points ring true about the Gaelic Athletic Association. There's a bleeding wound inside me that will probably never heal* ever since the Murdoch empire bought the rights to GAA fixtures. Wave goodbye to amateurism (in the best sense of the word), to a grassroots-up, community-centred sporting and cultural organisation, and say hello to Gaelic FIFA.

The pat response is to say you have to move with the times and you can't stand in the way of progress. I'd agree with that 100% - except this is hardly what you'd call "progress".


*ok, an exaggeration. But not that much of one!

Precisely. People who say 'You can't stand in the way of progress' are the people who think *everything* is progress, regardless, for good or bad, for the sake of it.

I've just dug these two little gems out the YouTube vaults
Wimbledon 81: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igqID9aRdO0
Wimbledon 82: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hri568py44U
Wimbledon 84: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7fDRrgGKY8
Wimbledon 85: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0-aEf5vgtw ("This is recorded rainfall" )
(There are others from the 80s - I won't list them all)/

How wonderful to hear the old closing theme again, as well as a genuine Dan Maskell "Oh I say", to see Martina in her prime, the old No. 1 Court, Harry Carpenter, and the old BBC clock - the one that tells us there was a time when television actually shut down in the daytime. Tell the kids that today, they wouldn't believe you

I'll give credit where it's due though - the BBC are at least still using the same opening theme music, which is now utterly inseparable from their Wimbledon coverage

Right, BBC?

I remember the 1985 one... I had the day off that day and was in the pub for a "proper" lunch. ie 3+ pints before food and more after.
Standing on the foot rail of the bar in the Alexandra, as the wall of water came down Wimbledon hill and straight in the pub door.
Didn't stop us having though.
And then spending most of our afternoon off helping the bar staff mop up.

Ahh the good old days

Actually, on reflection, I'll probably still watch the first day. There's nothing quite like seeing the Centre Court grass in pristine condition, before the baselines get denuded, as do the spots where the ballboys and ballgirls wait. That feeling of all that's to come in the next two weeks. And there's always the chance of a first-round upset.

I feel the same about Wimbledon - sneaking out of prep to watch the late games, or coming back from a morning exam with only "revision" in the afternoon and watching as much coverage as possible before the housemistress caught us, and watched a few games before shooing us off back to the grindstone.

Our summer fete used to be on the Saturday of the men's final (remember the good ol' days, Ladies' final on the Friday, Mens' on the Saturday) and we used to sell tickets to the TV room and serve cream teas so we could sneak a watch too.

But I won't watch the women now because of the shrieking, and the inane commentary is putting me of watching the men.

This http://i.imgur.com/E9WVPGV.png or this http://i.imgur.com/y6DOUd1.png ?

I know which I prefer. It's elf and safety gone mad I tell you.

Well, here are again, only a short lob over the net until Wimbledon begins, and do I watch it this year? I probably will, certainly the first day's highlights, just to see that gorgeous fresh grass on Centre Court. And after that? We'll see. Clare Balding is a plus in that decision.

Feel free to watch it. I'll do your Not Watching Wimbledon for you.

You're too kind

Better get my waterproofs and wellies back out...
It's that time of year again.

KEY DATES FOR WIMBLEDON 2015
QUALIFYING BEGINS: 22 JUNE
CHAMPIONSHIPS BEGIN: 29 JUNE

Mind you I could just bog off for a week or two as I'm not working.
Thereby missing the tennis crowds

I watched Monday's Wimbledon 2Day a few hours ago.

Oh dear. I won't be watching any more

I haven't seen any. I can't watch the women because of the screeching, and I find the men's game a bit boring for a lot of the time.

What's put you off?

I don't know... but I suspect that Gosho is not alone, there seem to be a lot of complaints about the TV highlights coverage.

Anyway the only bit I couldn't avoid seeing was 10 secs on the big screen outside Morrisons they have gone mad with fake grass, deckchairs and this huge screen right in the way when you are heading home with your shopping

The "joys" of living in Wimbledon when the tennis is on

And yes I know I'm being a miserable old Git

I don't think I have enough time to describe everything Sho, before I go to work, but they've moved the presentation out of that studio they had for the last few years (which replaced that tasteful rooftop setting) and into something they call The Gatsby Club with a group of people (presumably spectators from the day's play) standing pointlessly behind what looks like some kind of a bar, and rather than have Clare and the former players (McEnroe, Davenport etc) sitting down, they've got them standing at one of those awful tiny circular tables you get in certain modern eateries and bars where you have to eat or drink standing up. It looks so cheap and tacky. They all have to hold a mic, and they've got a bloke with a steadicam who can't stand in one spot for more than a few seconds and another camera on a boom that also can't seem to hold its position.

You might as well be watching ITV.

>>You might as well be watching ITV.<<

Blimey! steady on, old chap! (I watch the German coverage which isn't any better)

I'm serious. They've handed poor old Clare a pig in a poke and she's being thoroughly professional by doing her best to make it work.

It seems I'm far from being the only one who thought it was a pile of poo.
http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-33410692

I'm still doing my part. I haven't watched a second of play.

got sucked into watching Andy Murry's match yesterday. It was pretty good. And since I watch on German TV not at all bad commentary or presentation etc.