h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't believe in ghosts, gods, spirits, devils, demons, black magic, white magic, sky blue pink magic, the Great Prophet Zarquon, the Great Green Arkleseizure or even Almighty Bob (bit dubious about Nighthoover too). I don't believe in any kind of woo at all and I'm not in the least bit superstitious.

So why can't I stop turning the empty shell upside down and bashing in its bottom after I've eaten a boiled egg? Something I was taught to do as a kid because if you don't a witch will take it, go to sea and steal a sailor's soul.

I've shaken off all the other stuff my parents brainwashed me with (thinking of that Philip Larkin poem right now), but try as I might, I can't leave an empty boiled eggshell intact.

never heard of that one but... but... you cannot deny the existance of nighthoover!: we have proof of nighthoover's existance, from the two posts, on this very website, made by our diety who blessed us with their dusty presence and 'got stuck here' fore all time ... BoB... well that.... is a kinda invention, really....

BoB Dobbs is real. I've got photographic evidence. And Just Bob is quite real. I've had a drink with him. Any other Bobs are possibly apocryphal.

As to superstitions, I'm slowly training everyone I know IRL to NOT bless me when I sneeze. It's not just because of my aversion to superstitions but also because of a quirk of mine. I normally sneeze in pairs. If some brings attention to the first before I complete the second, I "lose" it and feel denied a well desired relief from something left uncompleted.

Also, I walked under a workman's ladder here in Edinburgh today and it was a small bit of satisfaction.

It's astonishing how brassed off people can get when you don't thank them for blessing you after a sneeze.

Right!?

Another thing that bugs me, not a superstition, but a cultural norm of manners. Holding the door as someone approaches. There is just simply too much calculus involved. I miss the days when there was sexual politics involved. At least then it was simpler by half. Well, not quite half because women weren't expected to hold a door for men. Now everyone holds the door for everyone. But there's a problem. When someone is right behind you, it makes sense to hold the door. But at some indeterminate distance it becomes passive-aggressive as the following person feels obliged to speed their pace.

That's what I don't like and it's impossible to verbally tell the holder to not bother.

It's just so awkward.

There should be a coloured circle around all shop, office, theatre doors, in fact any door in the public domain. If you're outside that circle you shouldn't expect to have the door held open for you, and if you're at the door you shouldn't be expected to hold the door open for anyone outside the circle. If you're outside the circle and someone *does* hold the door open, you shouldn't feel an obligation to speed up.

Job's a good'un

Well, yeah, but that's *sensible*

I know. Not gonna happen.

I've yet to be berated by a woman as being sexist for opening a door for her or allowing her to go first, as at least one of my friends has. The stock, and rather flippant, answer is 'I'm not doing this because you're a woman, I'm doing it because I'm a gentleman', but the notion of what constitutes a gentleman is rather lost these days, I fear, so it's probably best to replace 'because I'm a gentleman' with something along the lines of 'because my parents taught me to be good-mannered and civil to *everyone*'.

And also because 'I'm a gentleman' does sound rather pompous, unless you speak like Henry Blofeld

That thing about the coloured circle round doors sounds great on the face of it, but do we want to be told when and how to be polite? Sounds rather 1984 to me. (I mean the book, not the year)

door holding is just politeness, if you open a door and someone is "outside the circle" it's up to you if you wait, or not. I never feel the need to speed up, but I always hold a door open if there is someone behind me and I think it's incredibly rude if someone lets a door shut in my face (regardless of my gender).

As for bashing the eggshells I've done it all my life, my children do it and I think it's cute. Stories rather than superstitions for us, though.

See, that's part of the calculus. With normal automatically shutting doors the door itself does the "slamming". Now with non-sprung doors that distance is extended greatly because you would be "slamming" a door in someone's face. But with passively closing doors, If I'm closely followed, I typically just open the door to it's maximum and hold it open as long as it's still in reach as I walk through and then let the person behind me catch it as it closes. I think this is perfectly satisfactory. But you might consider it as if I had slammed it in your face.

There's also some calculus involved in which way the door opens. If the door opens away from you it makes sense to walk through it first if you're going to hold it for someone. Yet often some will stand in the doorway holding it with their arm extended awkwardly while others awkwardly sidle past.


Back to superstitions. I forgot to mention another small accomplishment I had here in Scotland. I fearlessly put my hat on the bed. This superstition was an adult acquired one. I got it from the film Drugstore Cowboy. If you haven't seen the film, Matt Dillon's character gets furious when James Legros' character tosses his hat on the hotel bed. This apparently is the reason they are later stuffing their female companion's body in the attic crawl space in that hotel and trying to cover up the stench for the following days.

So, for decades I would always explain this prohibition to hotel roommates. Better safe than sorry, right?

I only heard of the bashing eggshell thing when a friend did it and said her Irish grandmother always did that. I have never avoided ladders or noticed which way a black cat crosses my path. Opening umbrellas indoors is a necessity if you need them to stand somewhere to dry them out - hats on the bed - go ahead, I don't care.

Shoes on the table, however. No. Definitely no. Unsightly, and unhygenic. That's a "superstition" with a solid grounding.

Some things are mistaken for superstitions: We were talking about cleaning windows once at work. Someone said that they closed the shutters to clean windows if the sun was shining on them. Another colleague was surprised - he had thought that not cleaning windows when the sun was shining on them was a superstition. (It's because the heat dries them too quickly and they go all streaky)

PS Eggshells do get crushed in our house nowadays because they go on the compost heap and they work better there in tiny bits rather than whole chunks.

Maybe the eggshells just make a satisfying crunch. Like popping bubblewrap.

I agree with you on the door opening calculus... Many's the time I've had a door opened for me and felt obliged to go through it, even though I wasn't intending to... *sigh* I've also had automatic doors opened for me and had doors dropped on me because the person didn't step through the door, but awkwardly tried to hold it open over my head and let go...

If I open a door and go through when someone's behind me, I nod to the person to let them know I've seen them, so they can catch the door when I'm through, and that system does work well.

I have a few superstitions / obssessive compulsions, but the eggshell thing isn't one of them. I have some counting requirements in relation to even/odd numbers of things, but mostly I touch wood, to earth myself if my thoughts get too wild and dangerous...

You do know I was being about the circle, TC

My mother had so many superstitions, from shoes on the table, to crossed knives, to tossing a pinch of salt over your shoulder if you spill some, to the eggshell thing, plus the usual walking under ladders, black cats, knocking on wood etc. I sometimes wonder how how she got through the day without having a nervous breakdown

Oh! And lest we forget today is Friday the 13th.

http://www.snopes.com/luck/friday13.asp

Enjoy your paraskevidekatriaphobia everyone!