h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya, HappyDude, you know me. I owe you a reassurance. You seem to have a pretty intense thing going with JLC and I want to tell you, from what I've seen your hearts belong to each other. The distance thing is no barrier - thoughts and feelings know no physical limits and the internet sure makes things easier. As for me, you know JLC and I have been yakking it up and I enjoy the attention, but don't get jealous. You have the advantage, you seem like a virtual reality virtuoso while I'm only on the web an hour or so a day. I just like talking to people, and I'm happy whenever I manage to "connect" with someone.

You were talking about chivalry. In the days of the knights (that's why they were called the dark ages) knights swore oaths of dedication to their ladies. Now it even happened that the knights themselves had lovers or even wives, but their ladies were the first and foremost in their hearts. It was a spiritual thing. And there is something touchingly romantic about it. In today's world of cheap and easy love and sex many people miss the old romantic values: honor, purity, virtue, chastity, fidelity.

As for religious vows - I have some opinions on that. Where I find myself now, when you get married you have to promise lifelong fidelity. Now for me that is tough. I take very good care of myself and I might live till I'm ninety or more, and to limit myself to one woman for so long seems like some kind of unfair restriction. But on the other hand, if I just move in with someone without promising anything, there's no real commitment, she or I can pack up and leave anytime, there's not enough trust between us and this will inhibit real closeness. It's not the same as when you stand up and make a promise out loud in front of witnesses, your closest friends and family. That says you have courage and your convictions are firm and it forms a strong basis for mutual trust. But lifelong exclusivity - that's hard. I like people so much, I want to be involved with as many as possible in as many different ways as possible. But where will I find a church where I can swear a vow that goes, "I love you with all my heart but my heart is also big enough for lots of others, I'll stand by your side for as long as I live but I also want to stand by the side of anybody else that I also love, and you can do the same. You can have other lovers, I have no problem with that." Will such a vow have any strength and value? Will I be able to find someone that will be satisfied with a vow like this? I'm not even sure that I am satisfied with it myself. It certainly ain't very romantic. So I have a dilemma that I need to work out. Considering the amount of divorce and failed relationships, maybe the whole world has a dilemma to work out.

I think it can be a meaningful solution to have a "straightforward" love relationship but also other relationships on other levels, that contain a sexual dimension but don't infringe on the boundaries of accepted institutions like marriage. I'm not sure that this will always work - unexpected problems can crop up. But it's worth a try. Like I said, human beings and relationships are getting more complicated, there are always new challenges we'll have to wrestle with. That's life. And life is the best thing there is.

At the moment I'm still trying to sort out my feelings. I'm not really ready for a sexual relationship yet, and I focus more on other kinds of relationship. A sexual relationship, while good, is not the ULTIMATE good in my personal belief system. It is not the thing I want or need most. Getting back to religion, I haven't made any vows but I believe that celibacy can have religious value, its practice is found in different faiths from Catholicism to Buddhism. I'll probably not stay celibate forever, but I found that I can live with the idea of being a "loner" for the rest of my life. I have great control over my urges, my mind and my body. If I never find a special person to love closely, I will lead a life dedicated to greater causes: the upliftment of humanity, the restoration of the balance of nature, the quest to know God and the ultimate nature of reality. Once again, there are different "modes" in which people can exist, there are different kinds of meaning people can find in their lives. Nobody should unthinkingly accept the models pushed on them by society.

One last thing: any worthwhile relationship carries a risk and demands work and dedication. So lots of strength and good luck.

Love, Joy and Fulfillment to you, O Happy One. - Case

Hiya, HappyDude, you know me. I owe you a reassurance. You seem to have a pretty intense thing going with JLC and I want to tell you, from what I've seen your hearts belong to each other. The distance thing is no barrier - thoughts and feelings know no physical limits and the internet sure makes things easier. As for me, you know JLC and I have been yakking it up and I enjoy the attention, but don't get jealous. You have the advantage, you seem like a virtual reality virtuoso while I'm only on the web an hour or so a day. I just like talking to people, and I'm happy whenever I manage to "connect" with someone.

You were talking about chivalry. In the days of the knights (that's why they were called the dark ages) knights swore oaths of dedication to their ladies. Now it even happened that the knights themselves had lovers or even wives, but their ladies were the first and foremost in their hearts. It was a spiritual thing. And there is something touchingly romantic about it. In today's world of cheap and easy love and sex many people miss the old romantic values: honor, purity, virtue, chastity, fidelity.

As for religious vows - I have some opinions on that. Where I find myself now, when you get married you have to promise lifelong fidelity. Now for me that is tough. I take very good care of myself and I might live till I'm ninety or more, and to limit myself to one woman for so long seems like some kind of unfair restriction. But on the other hand, if I just move in with someone without promising anything, there's no real commitment, she or I can pack up and leave anytime, there's not enough trust between us and this will inhibit real closeness. It's not the same as when you stand up and make a promise out loud in front of witnesses, your closest friends and family. That says you have courage and your convictions are firm and it forms a strong basis for mutual trust. But lifelong exclusivity - that's hard. I like people so much, I want to be involved with as many as possible in as many different ways as possible. But where will I find a church where I can swear a vow that goes, "I love you with all my heart but my heart is also big enough for lots of others, I'll stand by your side for as long as I live but I also want to stand by the side of anybody else that I also love, and you can do the same. You can have other lovers, I have no problem with that." Will such a vow have any strength and value? Will I be able to find someone that will be satisfied with a vow like this? I'm not even sure that I am satisfied with it myself. It certainly ain't very romantic. So I have a dilemma that I need to work out. Considering the amount of divorce and failed relationships, maybe the whole world has a dilemma to work out.

I think it can be a meaningful solution to have a "straightforward" love relationship but also other relationships on other levels, that contain a sexual dimension but don't infringe on the boundaries of accepted institutions like marriage. I'm not sure that this will always work - unexpected problems can crop up. But it's worth a try. Like I said, human beings and relationships are getting more complicated, there are always new challenges we'll have to wrestle with. That's life. And life is the best thing there is.

At the moment I'm still trying to sort out my feelings. I'm not really ready for a sexual relationship yet, and I focus more on other kinds of relationship. A sexual relationship, while good, is not the ULTIMATE good in my personal belief system. It is not the thing I want or need most. Getting back to religion, I haven't made any vows but I believe that celibacy can have religious value, its practice is found in different faiths from Catholicism to Buddhism. I'll probably not stay celibate forever, but I found that I can live with the idea of being a "loner" for the rest of my life. I have great control over my urges, my mind and my body. If I never find a special person to love closely, I will lead a life dedicated to greater causes: the upliftment of humanity, the restoration of the balance of nature, the quest to know God and the ultimate nature of reality. Once again, there are different "modes" in which people can exist, there are different kinds of meaning people can find in their lives. Nobody should unthinkingly accept the models pushed on them by society.

One last thing: any worthwhile relationship carries a risk and demands work and dedication. So lots of strength and good luck.

Love, Joy and Fulfillment to you, O Happy One. - Case

THE STORY OF THE DOUBLE POSTING

Once upon a time there was a computer linked to the internet through an unreliable Third World server. It had the nasty habit of cutting me off just in the middle of posting a message. Then it told me it cannot display the page on which my message is posted. So I cannot tell if it came through in its entirety or not. Once I lost a piece that I had been writing on for over two hours because my computer couldn't show me the page, and when I connected to the page by going back, the message was not there and when I moved forwards again it was no longer on the "post" page! I had lost it! So now if my computer tells me it can't display the page after I posted a message, I go back and repost it. Only if, this time, it works as it should, can I see wether it got through the first time or not. And if it did get through the first time, of course it appears twice.

And they lived happily ever after.

Pillow even here in the technological rich west we still double post on occasion? Do you get XML errors as well?

While your choice of life style is not mine may I say respect and good luck. With regards to marrage vows and mognomy, If when you make those vows you are sincere why not? I think the problem today two fold on one hand peoples exspectaions are too high and on the other in many countries when things go wrong it is to easy to get a divorce. Divorce has its place but it should be a challange, at the moment it's often easier to get a divorse than to try and work problems out.

As to Spiritual Love thats the hardest of all, again respect to those that achieve it or aspire to it.

Happy thoughts to one & all.

HappyDude

Howdy. Sorry I took so long to reply, busybusybusybusy. Lifestyles: every person lives in his/her own skin. We all have our different societies in which we live, we all have our own little personal hang-ups and quirks, we all have our own demons to fight. I'll never force my lifestyle onto anyone else. Let me just say at this moment it is "open", the possibility of serious romantic involvement is still very much alive. My sis, for instance, has high ideals similar to mine; she believes there's one perfectly right person for everybody. After twenty six years of frustration she finally found her Mr. Right, and I do think it is real. I met her other boyfriends, and they were all way above average quality, but this guy just suits her in a way that none of the others did. I think people should wait and not settle for less than what they really, really want.

About your previous post: just what are XML errors? The messages I get mainly say that the page cannot be displayed and give a number of reasons that I can't remember now. Or they say the address is wrong, which I guess means the page doesn't exist any more. I am a newcomer to the internet so there's still a lot I don't know. At least I know how to make a happy face! Let me try a fish:

Stay Happy. - Case

Tech qustion first, XML error is one of the messages you get when a page refuses to load (if the page has badly written XML code).

As to True Love, I'm an old romantic, I dont know if there is just one right person, but I do belive you should wait for someone who you think is right before getting involved in anything serious like marrage. Patience is a virtue.

Until next time stay Happy

Re True Romance, check out

http://www.h2g2.com/A421912

Or go on the pull here... http://www.h2g2.com/F50652?thread=71242

*coughs*