h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I will grant that in the extreme case you discribed sex would shorten someones lifespan, but it is just that an extreme case. Most people will only benifit from regular sexual contact. Also consider the audience, for some to even read your article requires a certin level of properity and, for momentary lack of a better word, civilazation. I stand by my comments that for nearly all the readers of this post that safe sex is benificial to a long and healthy life.

If its fun, who cares if good or bad? Tell people it will half there life span and they are still going to do it.

Look, keep your priorities straight! Fun is #1#2#3 &#4 on the list. If your life is not fun then stop breathing my oxygen and if you're a guy then you're taking up 2 more girls that I could have at the very least!

The whole thing started out being about longevity. There was this study where mice who were not allowed to have sex lived longer than mice who were allowed to have sex. Anybody wants to know why? At any rate, it ended up being about humans. I said it and I'll say it again: I don't know if it works the same way with humans as with mice. I don't know if anybody knows. We don't understand the aging process or death well enough. But let me now state this: I don't think anybody needs to be afraid of sex. A healthy sex-life is just that - healthy. I got some statistics. Do any of you know what is considered a NORMAL amount of sex? Here it is: anything between seven orgasms a YEAR and seven orgasms a DAY is considered normal. In other words neither the upper nor the lower limit needs to be considered extreme or dangerous. That's a pretty big area, is it not?

But now I also want to say that I think that it is not the quantity that is most important but the quality. You get basically two different kinds of sex. The first is simply gratifying an urge. The second is sexual intimacy.

The sexual urge is just an urge to get stimulation of the sexual organs. You can satisfy that urge by masturbation just as easily as by sexual intercourse. I have a bit of a problem with sex being seen as nothing but gratification. It ends up with people using other people as masturbation devices. People have sex just to fulfill their desires and the other person is just a tool to please them and to boost their egos and enhance their status. But inherently people are not really like that - the other person has feelings and needs and will not always do exactly what their partners expect. In society today many people still have very unrealistic expectations about what sex ought to be like and do for them and what it really means to be sexually involved with someone else. Because of this ignorance many if not most sexual relationships turn ugly and nasty. Sometimes very ugly and very nasty very quickly. There's a difference between real life and what people see on TV and in the movies or what they dream up in their fantasies.

If you see sex as being intimacy with another human being then your attitude is different. Then it is not so much a question of satisfying your immediate desires as a question of getting to know someone else, getting attuned to them, communicating and bonding with them. This bond has intellectual, emotional and physical components. This kind of sex is much harder than mere "gratifying" sex, it demands patience, discipline, sacrifice, effort, commitment. It is also risky. The more intense a relationship is, the more painful it can be for either side. But it is worth the risk. It's not going to be perfect or always meet your expectations but also there's more room for being pleasantly surprised. I would say that this kind of intimacy is what sex ought to be about. Is it fun? Of course. It is a great lot of fun, it contains many levels and varieties of fun, different layers, textures, tastes, overtones. If you want just gratification, use your hands or the appropriate toy, and a video, magazine, or your imagination. No need to complicate matters with a living person with feelings of their own if it's just about your own feelings. But if you want intimacy, understand that you're gonna be involved with another living human being and you need to focus on that person just as much as on yourself, and be prepared for something difficult and complex. In an intimate relationship sexuality will become something bigger than merely the act of sex or the orgasm: it includes all the subtle things about the one you love and all the little things you do when you're together, the things you tell each other, the ways you think about each other.

Anybody agree with this?

Now back to where we started. How long you live is to a degree within your control and to a degree outside of your control. My advice is take care of yourself and don't worry. My guess is that sex in itself will not do much to lengthen or shorten your life, and if you do it for that reason you're doing it for the wrong reason. Much more important, and also within your actual control, is the QUALITY of your life. You talk about fun, while I talk of fulfilment. Many people think happiness is something they can get by doing the things they want to do. My personal belief is that happiness is an inner attitude that you can cultivate and that does not depend much on your circumstances. Happiness, to me, is realizing that you have this one life and it is the only one you're going to get, and every second of it will bring experiences to that you haven't had before, and opportunities that you will never have again. Don't take life for granted, realize that it is a mind-blowing miracle. That's the attitude I recommend. This attitude will not just stay there - it will help you understand what is really important and it will give you the power to go out and get the things you want, the things that are really important. Know what it means to be, know what it means to do, then be and do.

Thank you Yowzer, I second that emotion. I'm so happy to have some real inspirational and intellectual reading...keep it flowing.
World of Love, JLC the TTP

sorry accolades go to the pilow-case who can lie his head on mine any time. Bravo, Bravo...
JLC

Pillow person, you are right when you say quality not quantity. While simple plain sex may on occasion be fun, but it dose not satisfy the deep rooted emotional needs of the human mind in the way that an intimate and loving relationship can.

I have a question for you,
'Is it possible to have intimacy of the kind you propose in your second relationship, without the sexual contact'? I think yes, but I would be interested to here other opinions.

PS. JLC I'm getting jealous!

Regards to one and all

Happy

Hey, Happy, I agree: casual sex has its value, not every relationship needs to be high intensity. As to intimacy: I also agree, you can have it in a second relationship, sex is not a prerequisite either. The limits to the different kinds of relationship humans can have is the limit of your imagination. These days everything seems to be getting more complicated, and I think it can be a good thing. Broaden your outlook, extend yourself past previous limits. Yeah!

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JLC I'm reply to this over at your place.

Love Ya

Happy

More for you Happy. I am a true romantic and our relationship appeals to need for the lost art of Chivalry I crave in my lifetime. As you probably know in the 11th century, chivalry was at it's peak and continued on until Don Quiote killed it with the beginning of the modern novel.
A knight would never think of consumating his love for his ladylove, in fleshly worldly lust! (Actually, he probably thought about it alot.)
He elevated his damsel to the loftly state of a Goddess. He dedicated acts of chilvalry and bravery to her. Makeing them known to her by his reputation, and love from afar, which promoted the honor of her name, beauty, and worthiness as a woman to be worshipped.
By the way can you send me another picture of the Happy Dude, I found the joke a bit thin, though she was engaged in my specialty, I was disappointed.

I can if you want. The joke is a bit thin, but anything that pokes fun at something as po-faced as the McD corperation is worth it's weight in gold.

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Mr. Pillow definatly has a good point.

Happy, it's auffly hard to have a second relationship going w/out much sexual things going on. I mean if you 2 are xs then it might be either impossible to or so much the other way that you can't stand them.

(wow I confused myself there, forget the above (it made sice at the time (maybe ( if I keep adding these () will it cause my head to explode? ))))

But if the choice was no sex, and I'd live an extra 10 years or lots and lots of sex and that would minus 10 years I would go with the latter. I mean whats the point of living without having fun? I mean exactly what can you do when you're 95? My grandparents where the exception, the lived very happily for 93 and 95(?) years with my grandma going first. And of all that time they where in great health and only spent maybe a year in a Nursing home each. They where the best and from the stories of thier youth I'd bet they were very active.

Now your getting off sex and on to exclusivity, which could be one reason to have an non-sexual but emotionally intimate relationship with someone. If you were already involved sexually with someone else and you didn't believe in polywhatsithingy sexual relationshipsm, another reason could be if someone was bound by religious vows.

Be happy

Happy, this is JLC, I just want you to know that there are no religious vows that I have taken. I look forward to someday/ Since you mentioned the aspect of exclusivity based on becoming one through religious vows, I am curious and jump in here to ask you to ponder the thought seriously and get back to me later. I'll hot mail you on this response. This is not a proposal simply an inquiry as to value you place on such a vow. Worlds of Love, JLC

It is for each person to decide how much value they place upon a vow they have made, vows can be made with good intentions but circumstances can change. I am not a religious person I go to church for weddings & funerals and thats about it, although I do have a keen interest in the theology of the one god ( that is the god worshiped by Jews, Christians and Muslems). I myself place the greatest value on any solom promises I make, the only time I had the opportunity to make a vow upon the Bible was on the occasions that I have done Jury service and I'm afraid to say that every time I chickened out and affirmed (I kept the promise of the affirmation and tried to perform the duties of juror to the best of my ability).

Look forward to your email.

Happy

Well said my knight, You have affirmed your belief in a monothiestic God and also well noted is that you are a man that honors your word.
the hot mail is on its way as we write. WOL, JLC

Cool

way to go happy!!!