h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Irv Wash enters, in a cleanish jumpsuit.*

This place still open?

*Enters the store from the back room.*

Hi, Irv. Yes, still open, not very busy, but open. Can I help you with something?

What've you got that will quell the munchies for an intergalactic road trip of epic proportions?

May I suggest the Pocket Universe pack of pork rinds? Not only do they never run out, but the calories don't exist in this universe, only in the pocket universe.

Hmmm... you wouldn't happen to have any non-Pork flavored Pocket Universe Pork Rinds, would you?

*Scans the shelves.*

Well... Pocket Universe makes Barbeque Pork Rinds, Honey Mustard Pork Rinds, Ranch Pork Rinds and Sour Cream & Onion Pork Rinds. But they all taste like pork rinds.

Perhaps you'd prefer something from their Rice Cake line? I have to warn you, though, those all taste like styrofoam. You would definelty need some Crater Fizz to wash those down.

*nods and considers his selection carefully*

*Surreptitiously wipes some dust from the shelves.*

How about a magazine or novel for those quiet times between space fights?

A novel? That sounds fun. What ya' got?

Take a stroll down Aisle 1, the paperbacks are just past the magazines. We've got westerns, detective stories and even some romance novels. And SciFi, of course. Just be careful, there is some sort of portal down the end of the aisle. You might end up back in Lil's salon via the linen closet or the crisper in the fridge.

*strolls, and picks out some choice pulp fiction*

*comes to the counter, arms full of munchies and cheap paperback novels, pays, and leaves*

Thanks!

You are very welcome. Do enjoy your trip!

*strolls in, trying to look inconspicuous*

*looks around curiously*

*eyes widen at the sight of so many kinds of fast carbs*

*Witty detects some motion in her peripheral vision.*

Ripley! I recognize you behind those sunglasses. You don't fool me! And don't you dare slice open any of those crisps packets unless you have money in your Galactic Bank account to pay for them.

And where have you been? Youv'e been missing from Titania's tagline for ages now. If you don't behave, I'll tell her where you are right this minute!

*Gives Ripley The Lòók.*

*removes sunglasses and decides to try a different approach*

*tries to look cute and helpless*

Meep?

*sigh*

Ok, ok, but just one pack. You know you get all hyper when you consumer carbs!


*Watches as Ripley selects a pack. Thinks, I am such a pushover.*

So what's up with wandering off from Titania? A little teenage rebellion, perhaps?

*shrugs in response to Witty's question as he's not sure how to spell out what he's really searching for*

*eyes the rice cake selection*

*thinking he might have caught a glimpse of spinache flavoured rice cakes on the top shelf*

*turns his big, melting, dark brown eyes on Witty*

Meep?

*points with a claw*

*Who could resist those eyes, Witty thinks to herself. She reaches for the rice cakes and hands the packet to Ripley.*

Here you go. They actually look relatively nutritious. Do me a favor, though. Take them outside to eat them. I'd really rather not have to deal with the aftermath, if you know what I mean.

*Gives Ripley a , careful not to get too close to the claws.*

*gives Witty a reproachful look - as if he's ever... oh!*

*waves goodbye with a paw*

Meep!

*exits*