h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have often wonderd why time exists. After painstaking research I have come to the unanamous decision that it actually doesn't exist. It's just a way of describing a period where nothing happens, or the period of emptiness before something does happen. This may take a while for people to understand and, eventually, comprehend.
Considering I am trying to rewrite the entire fabric of our existence.

it's kind of funny that you defined time as the period when _nothing_ happens. Because most other people define change as a function of time. So the more accepted understanding of time would be the period over which something _does_ happen.

but of course it's not at all that simple. it's simpler. (but it's also more complicated ) i don't know what to make of time yet. But i have realised that denying the existence of something plainly before your nose inevitably makes people think you have no grip on reality--even if everything you know about reality mandates that such a thing could not possibly exist.