h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: UPDATE: Martina Navratilova - A66337176
Author: Galaxy Babe - U128652

Update on A594434, includes 2 new sections "In the Jungle" and "Greatest Battle" but the rest of Ormondroyd's excellent entry is unaltered.


GB

Can't fault any of it - neither the old nor the new. A moving tale.

Hi GB. Good work.

Could you perhaps tell us in brackets the characters that Joe Swash and George Takei played?

Put a comma after 'in January 2010'.

Change the comma after 'it was still in the early stages' to a semicolon.

it could be treated with radiation therapy following a lumpectomy. Following her treatment...

Could you rephrase this to avoid the word 'following' twice in succession. Perhaps change the second one to "After her treatment".

procrastinating and putting it off for a more conventient time -- You've said the same thing twice here. Leave out the word 'procrastinating'.

Preventitive --> Preventative

Please put a tag after the in the block quote at the end.

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Changes needed in the original section:

The link to Chris Evert is broken.

Still remember one of the nespaper captions when Marina won her first 'Wimbledon' - it was 'Sweet Martina' .

Wondder if it might be worth emphasing that, against her own advice' she had delayed her mammogram for 4 years due to a combination of work commitments/lifestyle and her 'knowledge' of her own healthy lifestyle, including nutrition. i.e. A belief that it couldn't/wouldn't happen to someone like her

Great feedback thank you

<> this is a reality TV programme, they were playing themselves

All the typos attended to

<> I knew there was something else I meant to do!

Links checked
The broken link to Chris Evert has been removed and replaced

<<
Wondder if it might be worth emphasing that, against her own advice' she had delayed her mammogram for 4 years due to a combination of work commitments/lifestyle and her 'knowledge' of her own healthy lifestyle, including nutrition. i.e. A belief that it couldn't/wouldn't happen to someone like her >>


BigAl

I realise you meant played in EastEnders and Star Trek, so I've added them now

.

That bit's reading very well now, GB.

BigAl

If no-one else has any more comments I'll apply this now

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'UPDATE: Martina Navratilova' to 'Martina Navratilova - Tennis Player'.

Game, set and match to the Babe!

Noodles and racket strings!

back atcha lil!