A Conversation for The War on Bacteria and Viruses; a relatively Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Peer Review: A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Started conversation Jan 18, 2003
Entry: A Brief Guide to Your Immune System - A937136
Author: Z the Scout Ace and Soon to Be Sub who can't spell - U185843
Hi there!!
So here it is I really need to know if it's understandable? which technical terms I also need to explain?
Anything I've missed out? (bearing in mind it's already over 2000 words..)
and all typo's plsea
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
McKay The Disorganised Posted Jan 18, 2003
A lot of info in one article here Z, but I understood most of it, and I'm not a medical man so thats to the good.
The paragraph on Phagocytosis is a little confused, and I'm not sure it makes sense as written - (could be me)
Diarhoea is spelt wrong and I'm not sure my example here is right either.
In the piece about women's vagina's there is an 'n' missing from the 'then' in "the a different type of mucus is formed'
Other than that there were no blinding spelling errors given your name.
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Rho Posted Jan 18, 2003
The main suggestion that I can make is to fix the typos. These are the ones I saw:
"own bodies immune system" = "own body's immune system"
unlikly = unlikely
enermy = enemy
"can reproduce one there own" = "can reproduce on their own"
differnce = difference
vairous = various
protiens = proteins
it's self = itself
"Once inside he hijacks the protien making equipment of your cell and uses it to make it's own proteins." = "Once inside, it hijacks the protein-producing equipment of the cell and uses it to produce its proteins"
"Bacteria and Virus's" = "Bacteria and Viruses"
"most import jobs" = "most important jobs"
defenses = defences
food posioning = food poisoning
stoping = stopping
"surfact that pathogens might get adsorbed through" = "surface through which pathogens might be absorbed"
unescceary = unnecessary
concieve = conceive
"take in within" = "take it within"
bumble bee's = bumble bees
""it's antigen" in it's MHC" = ""its antigen" in its MHC"
And it's "diarrhoea"
Apart from those minor points, it was good! Well done!
RhoMuNuQ {pedant }
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
Apart from the hundreds of typos this is a great entry. I suggest you just read through the entry yourself and you will find a lot of them. There is also a first person reference in there, something about "that I described above" or whatever. I'm not sure about the title, what's "brief" about it? To put "brief" in an h2g2 subject line, i think there has to be more that could be said in an h2g2 entry, an entry aimed at biologists might have more info, but not one on h2g2. Great entry though!!
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Posted Jan 18, 2003
Mackay the disorganised- I've reworded that paragraph and fixed the typo you mentioned!
RhoMuNuQ - I've fixed all the typo's and more, for some reason I'd accidently posted the verison that I hadn't run though the spell checker!
Tango, I've fixed the first person reference, can't believe I did that as for the title. I'll have to disagree there - is a lot more that could be included in an h2g2 entry, my personal opinion is that there is no subject if expalined properly that shuoldn't be in h2g2...
I could have included diseases of the immune system, autoimmune conditions, why the body sometimes attacks it's self, the debate around the MMR vaccine, (i'm choosing not to write an entry on that because I don't want to offend a certain researcher) Even since I've mentioned to vairous people on h2g2 that i'm researching this article several researchers have asked me to include things that are way beyond the scope of this entry. I think there is a possbility that some readers will read it thinking that they will find out something that isn't included.
Ta for every thing everyone.. is this version better!!!
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
After a quick scan that looks much better. I see what you mean about the title, there is more that could go in there, but it still isn't brief. Maybe "An Introduction to Your Immune System"? Re. the MMR vacine, can't you write an unbiased/non-offensive article?
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Posted Jan 18, 2003
Tango, I think I might change the title to "A Relatively Brief Guide to the Immune System"..
And in the circumstances I think a certain researcher would be offended by an unbiased artilce!
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
That title will do fine!
To be perfectly honest, if someone is offended by a balanced entry, i think that is their problem, and i wouldn't worry about it. That is probably why i get into so many heated debates, but that's my opinion.
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Posted Jan 18, 2003
Well I supposed, but I dont' want to be the one who scares an upstanding memeber of the community away, which is in every other sense.. and lots of people say that she's great.... hummmm *thinks* I will change the title to include relatively though..
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
Are you aware that you just let the gender of this researcher slip? If you didn't mean to, I advise yikesing it.
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Posted Jan 18, 2003
No it's ok.. I'm well aware of that. I think anyone who knows her will know who I mean.
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Z Posted Jan 18, 2003
Tango! did you understand the artilce by the way? it took me ages to get my head around this when I first learnt it.. and I had to re read stuff to write this..
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
Yeah, i understood it. I knew some of the basics from biology lessons, and I learned some really interesting stuff. Thanks!
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
U195408 Posted Jan 18, 2003
Hi Z
I like the article. I have a question though:
Bacteria - you say that they have cell walls. I'm not sure, but I don't think this is always the case. They certainly have cell membranes, but and some might have cell walls, but I thought plants were the only organism in which every cell had cell walls. But I don't know.
good work, thanks
dvae
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Tango Posted Jan 18, 2003
That's a good point. Isn't that why you drink lots of water when you are ill, because the osmotic pressure bursts the weak membranes?
Tango
A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
Rho Posted Jan 18, 2003
I don't think that's why you drink so much water ... wouldn't that burst your own cells as well?
Anyway, well done for fixing all the typos!
A quick skim through and I found just one ... Enermy = Enemy
The MMR vaccine? That might be a balanced article that I could write...
RhoMuNuQ
Key: Complain about this post
Peer Review: A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System
- 1: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 2: McKay The Disorganised (Jan 18, 2003)
- 3: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 4: Rho (Jan 18, 2003)
- 5: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 6: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 7: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 8: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 9: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 10: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 11: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 12: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 13: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 14: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 15: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 16: Z (Jan 18, 2003)
- 17: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 18: U195408 (Jan 18, 2003)
- 19: Tango (Jan 18, 2003)
- 20: Rho (Jan 18, 2003)
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