A Conversation for The War on Bacteria and Viruses; a relatively Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Peer Review: A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 1

Z

Entry: A Brief Guide to Your Immune System - A937136
Author: Z the Scout Ace and Soon to Be Sub who can't spell - U185843

Hi there!!

So here it is I really need to know if it's understandable? which technical terms I also need to explain?

Anything I've missed out? (bearing in mind it's already over 2000 words..)

and all typo's plsea
smiley - ta

smiley - magicsmiley - planet


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 2

McKay The Disorganised

A lot of info in one article here Z, but I understood most of it, and I'm not a medical man so thats to the good. smiley - ok

The paragraph on Phagocytosis is a little confused, and I'm not sure it makes sense as written - (could be me)

Diarhoea is spelt wrong and I'm not sure my example here is right either.

In the piece about women's vagina's there is an 'n' missing from the 'then' in "the a different type of mucus is formed'

Other than that there were no blinding spelling errors given your name. smiley - ok


!A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 3

Z

smiley - ta I'm off to the gym now, but I'll have a good look over it once I get back!


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 4

Rho

The main suggestion that I can make is to fix the typos. These are the ones I saw:

"own bodies immune system" = "own body's immune system"
unlikly = unlikely
enermy = enemy
"can reproduce one there own" = "can reproduce on their own"
differnce = difference
vairous = various
protiens = proteins
it's self = itself
"Once inside he hijacks the protien making equipment of your cell and uses it to make it's own proteins." = "Once inside, it hijacks the protein-producing equipment of the cell and uses it to produce its proteins"
"Bacteria and Virus's" = "Bacteria and Viruses"
"most import jobs" = "most important jobs"
defenses = defences
food posioning = food poisoning
stoping = stopping
"surfact that pathogens might get adsorbed through" = "surface through which pathogens might be absorbed"
unescceary = unnecessary
concieve = conceive
"take in within" = "take it within"
bumble bee's = bumble bees
""it's antigen" in it's MHC" = ""its antigen" in its MHC"

And it's "diarrhoea"


Apart from those minor points, it was good! Well done! smiley - ok

RhoMuNuQ smiley - smiley {pedant smiley - winkeye}


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 5

Tango

Apart from the hundreds of typos smiley - winkeye this is a great entry. I suggest you just read through the entry yourself and you will find a lot of them. There is also a first person reference in there, something about "that I described above" or whatever. I'm not sure about the title, what's "brief" about it? smiley - winkeye To put "brief" in an h2g2 subject line, i think there has to be more that could be said in an h2g2 entry, an entry aimed at biologists might have more info, but not one on h2g2. Great entry though!!

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 6

Z

smiley - star Mackay the disorganised- I've reworded that paragraph and fixed the typo you mentioned!

smiley - bluefish RhoMuNuQ - I've fixed all the typo's and more, for some reason I'd accidently posted the verison that I hadn't run though the spell checker!

smiley - orangefish Tango, I've fixed the first person reference, can't believe I did that as for the title. I'll have to disagree there - is a lot more that could be included in an h2g2 entry, my personal opinion is that there is no subject if expalined properly that shuoldn't be in h2g2...
I could have included diseases of the immune system, autoimmune conditions, why the body sometimes attacks it's self, the debate around the MMR vaccine, (i'm choosing not to write an entry on that because I don't want to offend a certain researcher) Even since I've mentioned to vairous people on h2g2 that i'm researching this article several researchers have asked me to include things that are way beyond the scope of this entry. I think there is a possbility that some readers will read it thinking that they will find out something that isn't included.

Ta for every thing everyone.. is this version better!!!


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 7

Tango

After a quick scan that looks much better. smiley - smiley I see what you mean about the title, there is more that could go in there, but it still isn't brief. Maybe "An Introduction to Your Immune System"? Re. the MMR vacine, can't you write an unbiased/non-offensive article?

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 8

Z

smiley - ta Tango, I think I might change the title to "A Relatively Brief Guide to the Immune System"..

And in the circumstances I think a certain researcher would be offended by an unbiased artilce!


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 9

Tango

That title will do fine!

To be perfectly honest, if someone is offended by a balanced entry, i think that is their problem, and i wouldn't worry about it. That is probably why i get into so many heated debates, but that's my opinion.

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 10

Z

Well I supposed, but I dont' want to be the one who scares an upstanding memeber of the community away, which is in every other sense.. and lots of people say that she's great.... hummmm *thinks* I will change the title to include relatively though..


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 11

Tango

Are you aware that you just let the gender of this researcher slip? If you didn't mean to, I advise yikesing it.

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 12

Z

No it's ok.. I'm well aware of that. I think anyone who knows her will know who I mean.


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 13

Tango

That's fine. I just didn't want you to notice later and feel really bad about it. smiley - smiley

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 14

Z

smiley - ta Tango! did you understand the artilce by the way? it took me ages to get my head around this when I first learnt it.. and I had to re read stuff to write this..


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 15

Tango

Yeah, i understood it. I knew some of the basics from biology lessons, and I learned some really interesting stuff. Thanks! smiley - smiley

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 16

Z

Great! smiley - oksmiley - ta


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 17

Tango

smiley - ok

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 18

U195408

Hi Z

I like the article. I have a question though:

Bacteria - you say that they have cell walls. I'm not sure, but I don't think this is always the case. They certainly have cell membranes, but and some might have cell walls, but I thought plants were the only organism in which every cell had cell walls. But I don't know.

good work, thanks

dvae


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 19

Tango

That's a good point. Isn't that why you drink lots of water when you are ill, because the osmotic pressure bursts the weak membranes?

Tango


A937136 - A Brief Guide to Your Immune System

Post 20

Rho

I don't think that's why you drink so much water ... wouldn't that burst your own cells as well?

Anyway, well done for fixing all the typos! smiley - ok

A quick skim through and I found just one ... Enermy = Enemy

The MMR vaccine? That might be a balanced article that I could write...

RhoMuNuQ smiley - smiley


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