h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello, I'm Dirk Gently and I'm an ACE (Assistant Community Editor). I'm also crazy, but I don't think that's really all important right now.
It's our job here (the ACEs' job) to welcome, greet, and help the newer people. I'm not saying you need any help or anything (except with that annoying squirrel problem) but just incase here are some pages at the Guide that may come in handy: The Newcomers homepage http://www.h2g2.com/A5752 , The Aces' home page http://www.h2g2.com/A214796, and of course, My page http://www.h2g2.com/U109483 . Unforunatly my page is under a big reconstruction right now, but you can still leave a message.
Well I hope to see you around,
Cya,
Dirk Gently
ACE
SubEditor
All Around Nice Guy

and also being chased by squirrels, AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Hi, Dirk (as if that's your real name).
Thanks for welcoming me. by the way, how's the holistic detective agaency going?. Found any cats yet?.
So where do you live/. Is it like in the UK or Earth, or are you one of those travellers from far and exotic lands?.
if you like Douglas Adams, I bet you like Terry Pratchett. if you don't, you don't know what you're missing. READ THEM!. I suggest you start with "Mort", "Soul Music", "Guards, Guards!" or "Wyrd Sisters".
By the way, if you should manage to stay alive and want to get out of the squirrels' clutches. visit my commander (he wishes!) Sick Bob who will brief on the details of the conspiracy, Remember, THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THAT IT'S YOURS JUST TO DO OR DIE, BUT IT'S NOT.


Aevil

You doubt that's my real name? I'm insalted, I think I go and join the squirrels.

Yo,

Slvad Cjelli, we meet at last. Don't be offended, It isn't your real name.
I am Sick Bob, head of the anti-squirrel initiative, escapee of five mental instituations and aquantance of Madame Aevil.
How goes it in London (if that is where you are still hiding out).
By the way, do you know your nose is broken?
Thought so.

PS I would like to say hi to Aevil as well and welcome her back to the initiative. However could you please stop trying to kill me and take my command as it is starting to irritate me.

Thanx