h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

All the editors, subeditors, and the ace people control this place and they are the ones that talk. (casue so far I haven't found anyone else.) WAHOO!! Every one congratulate me! i figured it out!!

Nice theory, but it's back to the drawing board for you, I'm afraid.

Unless you were looking for an exception silly enough to walk into your trap!

I do realize that I was wrong, because I looked and found other people. Before I had looked very far. I had posted it just because thats all the people i had seen talking.

Although if you wish for me to be whole hearted in this reply...
you were "silly enough to walk in to this socalled "trap"

Ha! But I can now reveal my true identity as a plainclothes ACE.

Smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast

So I was sorta right... Oh well. Works either way. I only said that cause the peeps that I first talked to were ACEs or the like. But
*sob* I was wrong!! But i have seen the light bulb! And I stoped off at that little hot dog stand down the road on the way.

*looks up "kipper"*

Right. Why would you want that for breakfast?

I'm tired of curries and lager for breakfast, so I thought I'd follow the healthy Red Dwarf diet and have a kipper in my corn flakes. You must have heard of Special K?

Ahh, but of course!
a bowl of special K, lightly sprinkled with sugar. Very enjoyable (till they get soggy )

After years of experimentation, I've recently found not one, but two cures for soggy cereals:-

1) Put them in the oven for 30 minutes at 220C. Tho I must admit, the flavour loses a little je ne sais quoi with this method

2) Put the bowl in the freezer for 30 minutes. TIP: Leave the spoon in and you can have be the envy of other commuters as you lick on a uniquely refreshing ice cream on the way to work.

But if I am (or the ceralis) the envy of every oneon the commute, them I might be run down. Just for a bowl of formerly soggy special K humph.

But if I am (or the ceralis) the envy of every oneon the commute, them I might be run down. Just for a bowl of formerly soggy special K humph.

I can see you're worried about that scenario! Must be an exceptionally rough route you take.

Here in Glasgow Special K is classed as food for health freaks, and if you haven't coated it with lard or marinated it in Buckfast wine, then no one is going to mug you for your breakfast, your shoes and your hearing aid maybe but not your special K. . .

. . . OK Jimmy geezyur hearinaid or ah'll chib ye. . .

. . . AH SAID GEEZYUR HEARINAID . . .

. . . OCH FURGETIT PAL, IT DISNAE WORK

Health food? hummmm. I don't think that I have a health food store anywere nearby. Its just that special k is wleays on the top shelf. Maybe thats what they mean by healthy.

Yeah, why do they do that? Is there some subliminal linking going on between breakfast cereals and porn mags?

Or is it just an attempt to help you recover from breaking your back stooping to get the last semi-skimmed milk in the shop?

The public has a right to know!

Breakfast and porn? When did that happen??

Top shelf.

*leaving for good*

top shelf cereal and top shelf porn. It was so obvious I didn't even notice.

*shakes head*

Thanks Dr G, but I didn't even get time to say my Cheerios.

Hey Princess, don't tell me that top shelf went over your head

Let's see, we've got porn flakes and sugar puffs, and that's just for starters. I think we've stumbled on a worldwide plot by the Hefner/Kellogg cartel to make us eat more cereal. I hate to think what's going to fall out of my next pack of Weetabix.

Hevan forbid they start including "prizes" in those top shelf cereals.

It's not just that. Look what they've done to the shape of 'safe' lower shelf products like teabags over the past few years. First we had the circular supermodel chests, and now we have the retro look 50s pyramid bras. Can you imagine what they might do with Weetabix if we allow it to stay on the top shelf?

I think we should start a Bring Our Breakfasts Back Into The Easy Reach Shelves campaign. We can stage raids on local corner shops by squads of masked BOBBITERS whilst their owners sleep.

Anyway, I've rummaged thru my weird bookmarks and rediscovered the cure for your life-threatening soggy cereal phobia. It's at (Broken link removed by Moderator)