h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...Because They told me to! No, because I asked them if I could have the job of doing so. Oh that's not the issue! What matters is that I'm here!

And while I'm here, which is going to be some time (YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET RID OF ME AAAHAHAHAHHAHHAAH *coughs* *sits down again*) I might as well give you Those Handy Links.

These three I think are the most important...
~ http://www.h2g2.com/A344756 - A Guide to the Guide - Very Very useful! Really should help you around the community. Which helps if you want to waste time on h2g2 because the forums here are addictive!
~ The Newcomers' Welcome is at http://www.h2g2.com/A5752 . It's a great place to meet other noobees!
~ The GuideML clinic. http://www.h2g2.com/A1872029 GuideML is the code you use to made your pages look good. It's a bit like HTML. Looks complicated at first, but it's not, really. Once you've got the hang of it you can make your homepage look really groovy! Not that it isn't already of course

When you start writing about things, you should always remember to search the Guide and check that no one's already written about it. Or else you could land yourself with some major disappointment when you get rejected!

But good luck! If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. After all that is why They put me here!

Wow! It's a virtual welcome basket full of helpful links! Thanks! As you can, I've found enough GuideML to start getting into all sorts of trouble . . . .

I'm sorry! Everytime I try to reply something happens to my computer! *kicks the damn thing* *it fizzles* Really should get this thing fixed. Sorry!!

Oooooooo Page coming on nicely.
Oooooooo Game prgrammer!
OoooooooOO!


Lisa

Ahh see, you need to apply my Anthropomorphic Principles of Computer Operation. I've found them to be very helpful over the years . . . .

1) All computers come equipped with a fear sensor. If it smells your fear, it will eat your document. Guaranteed. The important thing here to never let the computer feel it might have the upper hand.

2) All computers come equipped with a hidden microphone. It can hear your curse it and that only makes it angry. Instead, try speaking to it in a calm soothing tone, encouraging it to do what you want. Give it a cute name that plays on it's model number or physical appearance.

3) Turn it off and give it a few hours to "cool down" (both in a literal physics sense and the anthropomorphic psychological sense). Then turn it back on and try again.

4) If 1 - 3 don't work, then threaten to replace it with A) linux, B) a Macintosh, C) BeOS, or 4) an abacus, whichever best fits your situation.

5) If all of that doesn't work, THEN you kick it. And send it to bed without any supper.

(Good luck getting it fixed!)

Lol, thanks ! ! ! I'll call it Timmy because it's a Time Computer

*pats the computer* Good boy Timmy !

But it's all my fault really, I used a system driver CD with "DO NOT USE THIS CD" written all over it

Well thank you for the advice.

I can vouch for the fact that the computer knows what you're saying. I was commenting to a friend that my computer hadn't crashed for a long time and, voila, the screen froze