h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a Perfect Teapot. Whenever you go to use it, it is always
Just Boiled.


Here is your tea Joanna. *passes across mug*

So, *plants himself in one of the comfey chairs in the corner* what projects are you both working on at the moment?

Clive

Well, I'm just waiting to see what will happen to my solar system project...

*takes tea*

Thanks

*sips it carefully- its hot*

*walks in*
*bangs head against wall*
I am an idiot.
*bangs head against wall*
I am an idiot.
*bangs head against wall*
I am an idiot.
*bangs head against wall*
Here I am doing a project on British pop music of the 1980s and I forgot to watch the programme about Spandau Ballet last night.
*bangs head against wall*
I am an idiot.
*bangs head against wall*
Oh, biscuits.

*enjoys being too young to remember spandau ballet*

Spandau who?

*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*
*thump*

*is worried about the wall*

*thump*
*thump*
*thump* Ouch.
*thump* Ouch.
*thump* Ouch.
*thump* Ouch.

*Puts 'An Introduction to Astrophysics' on her chair, and tries to move EV away from the wall...*

*thump* Ouch.
*thump* Ouch.
*moves away from wall*
*head continues banging but fails to make contact with anything*
* *
* *
* *
* *

*forces EV to sit down, and gives him some tea*

* *
Thanks.
*tries to drink tea without spilling too much*
Any chance of a biscuit?
* *
* *

Perhaps... if you try to stop headbutting the wall......*

*looks up from his lecture notes*

Model him as a linked kinematic system of rods and point masses.

With his head performing Simple Harmonic motion... yeah I guess i need to damp it, d'you have any cushions?