h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today, in a blatant attempt to blackmail the Gruesomes out of the house and into town to get my ferry tickets for a trip to UK, I took my daughters for a McBreakfast.

We were about the only people in there until a guy came in with a little girl. We immediately noticed them because they were British. They sat not far away, and I had a good view of them. He began to seem familiar, so I tuned in to his voice, and realised that he was a guy who I knew from my Army days.

To be precise: I first met him when I lived with my parents just after leaving school when I was 18. He invited me out for a drink, and became famous in our house for turning up in his carpet slippers driving his souped up car. He also had a Dukes of Hazzard style horn, which he beeped outside my house.

Actually, I remember that he was quite a lot of a w*nker, and didn't repeat the experience, although I did let him drive me home after work once or twice (I worked in the bar on the camp, before I left Germany to work in England).

Then I joined the Army. Imagine my surprise when I turned up at my first Troop (I was in the Signals) and he was in that troop. After it became obvious that I wasn't going to be one of the very shy, easy to intimidate new recruits and that I could not only take a joke but pull my weight, I got on well with most of the troop. Except for this guy's girlfriend, who imagined (I assume, and I can't think why) that I was "after him."

On occasion we even were on the same detatchment on exercise - not a lot of fun, since by then I had decided he was not only a w*nker but an a***hole too. Anyhooo.... Later I met the -hubs, and he didn't like this chappie either.

About 6 years later, after I had left the Signals and joined the Intelligence lot, I ran into him again. He had married his girlfriend and she was posted to the same unit as me. We got on a lot better then, mostly because we met up only once in a blue moon when our shifts coincided.

And today, around 22 years after first meeting him, I bumped into him again. How glad I was that I put on a nice short skirt and some knee boots today! And a bit of slap. I was, for a change on a Saturday, feeling quite glamouros. He was in jeans and a sweatshirt, and has put on a fair few pounds since I saw him last.

He didn't recognise me!! But actually we had a pretty good chat for about an hour, the Gruesomes played with his daughter, and since he lives only a few miles from me, we exchanged numbers.

We'll see what happens now! It might be interesting.

Funny how life goes like that isn't it?

it's all slowly coming back to me - how his (now) wife actually can't stand the sight of me...

It's a good job you were looking your best when you saw him then Sho!