h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

the orchestra and you: a true story
billy, the average aged and demographicly placed person, has a quest. his quest is to find the holy flemenco-conducted-7009peice-orchestra (complete with triangle) before sundown.
'oh there it is. what a relief i found it before sundown came', said billy.
billy isn't the smartest person on the big rock we call earth, being demographicaly placed roughly between albert and anakin (anakin offsetting his iq by roughly 100000000001 [<- 1billion and one] and putting him in the negative; pretty close to hell) , and he didn't realise that the group of entities were not in fact 7010 musicians hudled ready to make sweet music to lull away even the toughest cookies. they were really giant flesh eating ants from outer space, come to destroy humanity for broadcasting the 'brady bunch' into space all these years.
billy died a quick death and the ants took over the world.

how was that? WERE YOU RIVETED?! i should hope so.
could someone please give me back my inspiration? someone took it without asking and i need it back now to write stories with! HELP ME!

I was completely riveted. Are you pleased? Though I must tell you, that those giant flesh eating ants from outer space were not only responsible for all the "Brady Bunch" reruns ever shown, but they are also guilty of the heinous crime of . . . wait for it . . . SOCK THEFT!!!!!! Are you shocked? Yes they are the very same ones that live at the bottom of every washing machine and laundry pile ever created!! They began this soon after taking over the world with the help of a few well placed clones of world leaders, which allowed them a peaceful take-over due to the fact that they bored everyone into submission with those previously mentioned "Brady Bunch" reruns which only world leaders can control. There were a few deaths - Billy for instance - but what can you expect from giant flesh eating ants from outer space? World domination tactics take alot out of you you know! Are you wondering how the sock theft part comes into it? The theory goes that if the worlds socks are controlled and kept in order, so shall the people be. I know what you're thinking, "What about those people in countries that don't have socks? What about them? How are they controlled? Noone ever stops to think about the people that live in sub-Saharan Africa do they?" Well, the answer is, "Yes". Only, instead of hiding out searching for socks, these giant flesh eating ants from outer space take brooms. How can peopel live in a desert without a broom? Thats where they get 'em! You may also be thinking "Wouldn't it be kinder to simply rid the world of socks all together?" Probably - then we would never have to be subjected to the humiliation of a future world leader, namely Prince Charles, wearing socks with sandles. But giant flesheating ants from outer space don't tend to think these things through to that extent, they see the power in controlling the socks of the world, and don't stop to think of the fashion crimes they are allowing to continue. "Ahhh, but how do they do it?" you ask, well, they lie in wait, day after day, waiting for the helpless victims to arrive. Once there, the socks find themselves subjected to all kinds of torture - torture so horrific I won't go into detail, you'd have nightmares for months. I'll say this, it's not just a coincidence that you find socks with holes in them. This is why from time to time, you will see the washing machine move, ever so slightly to the right, and forward a little, as we all know, giant flesh eating ants from outer space have no sense of direction, and an even worse sense of politics!
P.S. What DOES 'demographic' mean?