h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me. Neither.
Oh blimey, now I've started doing it!

This is kinda like *69, innit?

Its rather freaky... I. Have. No. Idea. Who. This. Could. Be. But. If. You. Would. Like. To. Leave. A. Message. After. The. Tone. Then. They. Will. Get. Back. To. You. Shortly.

BEEP!

Who is this mysterious "Tone"?

And is the 1471 lady the same woman who intones "Going... Down" in such a provocative way in elevators?

Mightaly impressed 1471....

Very very original idear!!!

If your not from the "inner circle", then you have just stummbled across as one of the most original and fresh persona that we have seen in a long while!!!

You must be in the know....

You.Must.Be.In.The.Know........Too.Clever.By.Half!!!

Sid...

I. Do. Not. Do. The. Voices. For. Lifts

None. Of. The. Lifts. I. Have. Ever. Been. In. Have. Had. Voices.
Doesn't it get awfully tiring, speaking in one-word sentences all the time?

You.Have.Never.Lived.Then.EV!.!.!.

This reminds me of teaserman....

I. Do. Not. Get. Tired. Of. Speaking. In. One. Word. Sentences
Each. Word. Is. Recorded. Separately
Who. Is. Teaserman. ?

Teaserman ( http://www.h2g2.com/U103224 ) made it his job to try and visit every forum in H2G2 and "Buzz" it. Preferably while the user was still online

Thank. You. For. The. Link
I. Do. Not. Intend. To. Visit. Every. Forum

Hang on. I just visited one of the forums and you told the person who made the first entry that I'd visited them at that time. That's startling stuff (or at least I think it is - I'm about as technophobic as they come.)

I. Do. Not. Understand. You. Would. You. Like. A. Visit. ?

All the lifts I've been in have been mute, except for the words "Stand clear of the doors!" Do you say that?
I've also never been in a lift that has a trapdoor on the top which you can climb out of, like in all the movies. And I always look.

If you want. That's not what I meant though. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but I looked at a forum entry ("This guy is cool") first posted six weeks ago and when I clicked you said that "He. Had. Been. Visited. At. Six. Something." at the same time. It impressed me.

Now. I. Understand. That. Is. Indeed. Strange. Discopants
Bluebottle. I. Do. Not. Know. About. Lifts. There. Are. Not. Usually. Telephones. In. Them

There. Is. Supposed. To. Be. A. Phone. So. If. A. Lift. Breaks. Down. You. Can. Call. For. Help.

I. Thought. That. They. Were. Internal. Telephones
One. Four. Seven. One. Does. Not. Work. On. Internal. Telephones
Has. Your. Voice. Been. Recorded. Too. ?

SOme phones, but not all, are internal in lifts - you should be able to phone the police and fire brigade at least on many of them... I'm not sure if 1471 would work - but you must admit that if you branched into lifts it's a good way to go up in the world.