h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* a polite knock is heard on the door. When (if) it is opened, a large armadillo in cowboy boots is standing uncomfortably on the doorstep. A copy of "Diplomacy For Dummies" is clutched in one hand, his black hat in the other. At his feet is half a sack of whimpering baby potatoes*

um, maam? We'uns have reason (On rare occasions) ta think y'all might 'a took off with Lurcher's fancy uniform in yer sneak attack on our evil-hide-out-and-garage yesterday. Kin we work sumthin out? I got here this half sack of baby spuds *sigh* ready fer replantin'. If'n ya could post to the musehome's Toga Drycleaner thread that the uniform has been dropped off fer dry cleaning, I'll come up with the other half of the sack, and promise not ta mess with these here babies. They's 100 all told, 50 now and 50 when we get the uniform back clean an' not ripped up.

'Course, that don't mean anythin over 100 ain't fair game!!! Whaddya say?

Don't you want to come in and have a cup of chai?
This requires careful consideration, you know?

*Another polite knock on the door, which, if opened, would reveal Lurcher clad only in a blanket, nervously rehearsing what he would say , in the unlikely event that the door is actually opened.*

Erm...I understand..erm..that BUafT might have visited to ..erm..talk to you about my uniform. I`m...erm ... lost without it. Everything else I have is erm ...soaked in moonshine. Apart from this blanket, that is. Sorry about my appearance. I`m in depair (and bloody cold).

*Wonders if a few more s would help. If the door does actually open, that is*

sitting uncomfortably, sipping Chai and awaiting an answer, on his best sunday behavior...

* Lurcher, now frozen to the core, and fed up with people looking at him..stood here on the pavement..decides that he can`t wait much longer*
*Kicks out at some mutt, peeing up his ankle*

*sigh*
Okay, come in.

* At Last!!*

Thank you
Er..would you mind reading Post3 ?
Can`t remember what I was going to say, minds gone blank....probably the cold....would you mind??
*Puts on his "appealing" look*

Poor Lurcher
*thinks: Okay, no weapons*

ifn' yer a honerable lady, I recon we kin go ahead with the transfer right now. I'll go get the little spuds. Lurcher! Git some clothes on!*goes out to his pick-up for the other 50 spuds*
Mutters,"Can't stand a nekked wolf!"

Chance `ud be a fine thing!!
Is the ..er. uniform here Maam?
Are the ..terms acceptable?

I think I 'm going to keep it.

then ah'll be keepin' the rest of the baby spuds.
Ah did want to try out that recipe....

Recipe? Which one?

WHAT!! Sorry, meant what??
You can`t do that !!
Do you know what it COST?
It`ll take ages to replace...it`s no good to you..
Without it, I`ll undergo a complete personality change!!

*This is what you ger with a dodgy server!*

Tell me about it.
*sits back*

*Goes for something to eat...head in a whirl*

*waits for an answer*

well, Ah was thinkin' of tryin' a still to make alcohol out of 'em. Of course the little darlin's might not like bein' distilled, but hay, ya can't make everybody happy.
I never made moonshine with anything but corn before.(baby potatos whimper.) see you.*drives off*

Mmmm, vodka