h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello! I'm here about your piece, 'Fair Exchange' (I know you've had two picked for the UnderGuide ). The UG version is here:

A12311588

I'll be polishing it asap. Because this is the UnderGuide, you are in charge, which means that any suggestions I might make, you get the final say-so. Not that I think there will be any

Well, just the one: I'd like to turn the URLs at the bottom into proper links. Makes sense? Let me know what you think.

Trin

Yes, go for it! I'm surprised that that is the only change!

Cheers

Hello again! Right, I've done the links if you want to have a look. I've also done the actual polishing, so, a couple of tiny queries.

>>"Er ... well, I reckon I must have gone right back to, um ... fifteen, twenty-four or so."<<

Do you want that comma after 'fifteen'?

>>"Oh yes ... please continue ..."<<

A question mark after 'Oh yes'? (Also, as you can see, I've spaced out the ellipses).

But that's it

Hi

Yes, both of those are fine. The second then becomes:

"Oh yes ... ? Please continue ..."

Without explicitly saying so (as I didn't want anything besides speech in this story) it was my intention that the "Oh yes" is said in a slightly sarcastic manner - the speaker wondering what new unbelievable revelation was coming next.

Cheers

Er ... sorry - does that mean you do want that comma after 'fifteen', or you don't?

Done the other one

Sorry, didn't make that clear!

Yes, chop out the comma. Exterminate it!

Righty-ho!

Hello again! I've now set to work on 'Underneath the Arches':

A12658962

Well, when I say 'set to work' ... Again, I'll be getting to it a.s.a.p.

The first thing is the paragraphing. As you'll have seen from your own version, coded em-dashes has a tendency to produce weirdness (those little square boxes) - I think we're going to have to go with normal GuideML paragraphing (looks better anyway, in my opinion). What I'd suggest is putting the standard tags in place and then, where you've indicated a stronger break in the original by using those standard tags, have a line of asterisks demarcating the various sections.

(It's not that we at the UG are averse to unusual formatting, but as it stands, it's not terribly easy on the eye and I suspect there may be implications for the mobile version of h2g2, where we're encouraged to use lots of plain breaks).

Anyway, I'm going to get to work on it, then post back here when it's ready for you to take a proper look. If you want something different then, of course, feel free to ask (demand ).

Trin

Sorry, Trin. I'm going to totally disagree with you on the paragraph formatting - I loath the 'space between all paragraphs' approach as, to me, it doesn't look at all natural - I mean to say, they don't lay normal novels or short story books out like that, do they?

Although it didn't matter so much in 'Fair Exchange' as it was all a single conversation I really didn't like having the gaps. With 'Arches' I figured out how to make it look more natural (in my and several other people's opinion - one of whom is a published author) and would much prefer it stayed that way.

I was about to ask what these little square boxes you are talking about were. I had never seen them (but I use FireFox as my default browser and it always renders the page correctly). As they only appear in Internet Explorer it would suggest that (as usual) Microsoft's buggy browser isn't rendering the EM space entity correctly (just tried it in IE7 and, of course, that's just as buggy). However, I have just found a workaround! The trick is to add a normal space character after the EM entity (I have just updated both my original copy of "Arches" + the new story I uploaded a couple of days ago). These now render properly in both FireFox, IE and Opera 8 (maybe I shouldn't mention the new Opera 9 which, for some reason, is totally ignoring EM spaces - argh!)

Maybe some proper manner of indenting should be added to GuideML and, if so, how about a method which allowed the reader to display the results in the style they prefer (as we can for the main 'look and feel' of the site). How about a new type of tag possibly for Paragraph with Indent or just using a class attribute such as . If a user chooses the non-indenting version then the site could load up a different stylesheet for them which renders spaces in between paragraphs for the INDENT class.

(from the above you can probably guess that I build web sites for a living - and, yes, I have laid out prose in the 'proper' manner on a couple of sites using normal CSS)

Well, that's probably enough ranting for now!!!

Cool

I'm relieved you posted before I actually did any work on it (fundamentally lazy, we Gem Polishers ).

All right then - just had a look at your most recent version and all the square boxes are gone (as you can probably tell, I *don't* build websites for a living ). I'll just pop that into the UG version instead.

Just the light polish it is then (phew). The only thing I saw going through it earlier was song and album titles - would you like those formatted? (Single i.c.s for the former, italics for the latter).

Oh and as for indents - there is a design suggestions page somewhere by way of the 'feedback' button if you want to suggest it Though there's a list as long as both your arms of things they're currently working on and have been for some time now

I do know what you mean about the layout (what I do for a living involves a lot of reading and, yes, it would look distinctly odd in a book - I don't know why I feel differently when it comes to text on screen ... I suspect I may be showing my age ). If I were to have three design feature wishes, I think font size and something like 1.5 spacing would be on there. Which would leave me a spare!

(My last but one polishing job - should be Front Page tomorrow - involved all sorts of lovely formatting which I could only reproduce very inadequately in GuideML Justified text! That's my third wish ).

Hmm, no I don't think so. I don't want them to really stand out - let the readers pick up on them as they stand or, if they don't recognise them, they can just breeze past them. If they are made to stand out then it may distract from the story itself.

(this is good - I agreed with all your changes to "Fair Exchange" and am disagreeing with all those on "Arches" - LOL)

Regarding the 'square' bozes - if I get time I'll put up a non-fiction article on how to get around them!

GM

You should - that's a very handy hint.

Right then - all I'll do is just give it a scan for typos and that'll be it. If I spot any, I'll let you know

(It *is* good - this is how the UnderGuide is supposed to work )

Cheers Trin

GM

All done, I think.

Mostly GuideML stuff and a few typos - just a few actual queries:

>>Licking ketchup from lips I lay down and<< - lie? (I mean, being really picky and coming over all grammarian and given the present tense there, it *should* be lie, but if you want 'lay' and since it is current usage or seems to be, that's obviously fine )

>>people obviously sensed this and tried to give him wide berth<< - a wide berth?

>>Talking is unnecessary as all of me know the plan and what is required<< - not a query: just really liked that

>>hesitating to mention Jenny's name as, at this time, should would have still been a child<< - 'she' for 'should'?

>>Asserting that no further damage would be done<< - I think that's the only word here that really doesn't fit: either 'ascertaining' or 'assuring himself' I'd suggest; 'confirming' even.

Aha, well spotted!

Yes, I agree with all those changes - please go ahead.

Also, a few others:
1. The coach does not possess [missing final S on possess].

2. A few of the bits of speech are contained within single quotes while the rest are in double quotes.

Cheers

GM

>>a few others<<

Yeah, I know - already did those

Just the last changes and that's done, then

Done!

As far as I can tell, 'Fair Exchange' should be Front Page next Friday, this one three weeks after that. Very impressive - I'm not sure there've been too many authors who have managed to pack the UG with quality writing in quite this way before

Wow! That's great and thanks for the comments! So dare I ask you to take a look at the latest one I put up? Or is a hat-trick too much to ask

Cheers

GM

I'd be delighted to have a look - I haven't really had much time to get down to the AWW in the last few weeks.

I'm not in charge of hat-tricks though