h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I aswered all of the c's.

* A shaft of light beamed down from heaven, followed by a crystal lift *

* A slightly built, slightly wizened old man steps out of the lift with his assistant *

Ah... Dear boy...oh...alien...oh...Hmmm. Dear blobby green creature. I find it most gratifying to see a Vogon step into the breach on such an occasion. I my experience, most Vogons would sooner use one’s own tongue as a neck-tie, than perform any public service.

Anyway...

* The old man waves his hands about wildly like HE is in charge. Which is precisely why he is doing it. A hastily assembled choir is gathered from the stragglers in the ranks, who are just out of bed *

* A ‘Halleluiah’ is hastily attempted, which is as quickly, mercifully aborted. *

* A sword is produced from within the old man’s vestments. Unfortunately, the curly headed man standing beside him ends up with a slit in his garments, all the way upto his belt *

GOD- I’m very sorry, sorry, as sorry can be. Well, at least I now know for certain, your Jewish, St.Peter...

* Peter blushes : Vermillion *

Anyway, we hastily assembled few are blessed to be present at the canonisation of the one & only Prosthenic Vogon Jeltz. It’s testament to our new ‘liberal’ values that we accept our first Vogon into the Old Firm. I hereby name Saint Jeltz the Patron Saint of Poetic Licence. Let him go forth and take liberties where he sees fit...

* A shaft of Gold passes your neck, which makes your heart jump more than a little. Then, thinking what a silly race humanity to be, you see it for the quaint custom it to be. If it weren’t more like an idle threat, along the lines of ‘I could chop your head right, off right now, but I won’t. So in future you had better jolly well obey me - RIGHT ?’. A small golden halo appears which you feel rather pleased with. You, however, are not particularly pleased with the sacred wings, as they don’t really support your Vogon bulk, the best they can do is give a little lift whilst running flat-out *

* The formalities finish up with a platter of Cucumber sandwiches from yesterday, which infact contain all the daily trace elements and bacteria a healthy Vogon needs *

- Chairman of THE Board...

(says a couple of prayers) Thank you.

Welcome to the ranks, Jeltz!!

HEY !! saint Jeltz!! come on over to http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?thread=47952&forum=37639

We're about to initiate another Saint, maybe you know them- and we'd like you to be part of it... you're over here on this thread all by yourself... come join in the conversation!! maybe you can bring a truly Vogon Poem to help celebrate!


see upi tjere!

Saint Zax¹
Patron Saint of Drunken Indulgence, Brownies, and Naps

ok, i've posted this in three separate places, so i KNOW you'll find it! i think we've all just about figured that you don't really like us... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE follow the link included and join the conversation! i'm looking forward to talking to you!! the message reposted: Hey Jeltz!! good to see you! we just started a new thread over in heaven. this one is not just a chat thread, but also so we can do a head count and have all the angels touch base. if you don't want to hang around and chat that's fine, but it sure would be great if you could stop by and leave your mark! :-) http://www.h2g2.com/F38362?thread=57689 it would be great to see you there! you never hang out with us! PLEASE drop by and say something!! The Archangel Zax* by the way, i definitely like "Jeltz" better! *get your new updated, h2g2v2 compliant Angel's Dropdown List code at http://www.h2g2.com/A324479