h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I titled this 'I have a new dog' no-one would read it!

A customer told me she was rehoming her dog because it had bitten a child for the second time (bitten more adults than just two) and did I want it.

It's not the first time a customer has rehomed a dog, but it's the first time I've wanted it.

Just love the little bugger, and couldn't say no - even though it's completely impractical to have three with my job, he's an impractical shape (Mini Dachshund) and is noisy and bitey.

So he's here now, and likely to cause no end of trouble.

I still haven't read this entry. What's it about then?

What entry

Ohhhhhh, that one

I'm having some really bad 'oh no, what have I done' thoughts now.

Not unnatural, I remember having them when Beauty arrived. I only want one dog at a time...

Me and the girlfriend (at the time, about 1984) took in a cat for a weekend. It was a disaster. This woman (and for the life of me now, I can't remember why she picked on us out of all the people in that block of flats or where she came from) asked us if we'd look after this feline from Friday to Monday because... well, that's the funny part. She kept banging on about how she lived out in Essex somewhere and had loads of space and how she fed badgers, and before I had a chance to say 'Well why on earth are you asking us to take it in when we live two floors up in a one bedroom council flat in Limehouse with two cats of our own?', the g/f had said yes.

What a nause Our two cats spent the entire weekend underneath the sideboard, growling. I didn't want to go to bed for three nights for fear of what kind of carnage there might be in the front room come next morning.

Never been so glad to see the back of an animal.

I've had a couple of boarders like that - one Saluki cocked his leg up all my kitchen appliances *and* the Dyson. Next time she called I'd put the price up because of it and she found someone else.