h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nothing else ever happens to me.

Awww

Yeah, but you did get to meet a jolly nice park ranger, hasn't he called to see if your ok yet? I'd have been straight round to ply you with etc,

I know the feeling. I seem to do little else these days. I'm either working at work, or working at home, or thinking about something work-related. I wouldn't so much if I was self-employed In fact when I was self-employed I don't think I thought about work as much as I do now. I'm in a rut.

No, park ranger hasn't called. We did have a chat shortly after when he asked if I was ok, but I haven't been walking in that park a lot lately. When I do, it's too hot to leave the dogs in the van,e ven for five minutes, to go into the cafe for a drink.

It doesn't help that I love dogs, so am quite happy talking about them, then suddenly looked back over past few weeks and it's all work work work.

I've decided - I'm gonna take eHarmony up on their offer for 3 mnths for the price of one and try to meet someone. Even if just someone to come on the odd walk with me would be nice.

Said with a rare moment of sincerity from me

Missed the deadline, so just had to pay for 3 months. Never mind! Let's see what happens. hmmm, he's a bit plump and receeding, but nice smile and appears to be sitting in a convertible.

Short, bald and middle-aged but deceptively fit and strong. WSOH, but I don't think I would make the first cut on a dating site
Might as well go and eat worms

So far all the men who've contacted me are bald/old/fat. I'm not sure what this says about me.

That they are shameless while the hairy/young/slim feel they don't even stand a chance?

Old, bald, fat...

No point in me applying for the position then

Awww, bless you toybox!

I've replied to them all. Been out with fat older receeding men before, no worries.

Not me though I am definately going to have to eat worms Nobody loves me, everbody hates me, might as well go and eat worms

Send all the time and get soundly ignored by everyone! I AM just going to die a lonely old virgin.

Sorry, so busy with work and avoiding work! I like online better, shorter, less ability to mark as 'deal with later' cos I'd never find things again!

I off to the beach, to scare the flora and fauna, and sulk

oooh sounds lovely!

"Been out with fat older receeding men before, no worries."

Oi!