h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No, not from the garden - this morning we're off to chose the flowers for my nan's funeral.

J has helped to pick out some that will be from our set of great-grandchildren - the rest who were never taken for a visit can look after themselves, so we'll be off to sort them out this morning. There's going to be a bit of a crowd of us, me, my parents, and my SIL all fighting for space - those florists aren't usually very big.

Then I'm staying in the high street with my SIL to have a coffee, a cream cake and a chat while J hangs out with his uncle. They'll spend all their time on the PS2, but at least they're both getting some male company.

This afternoon I'm off to see a friend. I'll talk to her, my kid will fight with her kids, and my dog will 'woof' at her dog. So a stressful start, then onto a lazy day.

I'm sure no-one is really interested in my day to this extent, but there's so much crap going on around here at the moment that it seems nice to be able to talk about a bog-standard normal day (apart from chosing the flowers that is).

My nan's house is now empty and the keys handed back. I just hope that I'm not here to see when the council go in and rip all the carpets out and take the satellite dish off the wall. That's going to be really hard, especially as over the last few days I've stopped believing she's gone, and have started believing that she's just in hospital still and will be out soon. Funny how the mind works. I know damn well she's gone, but I still keep catching myself thinking about her as if she's still here.

She will always be there for you in spirit.

I took my Mum to Keelby on Monday, just the two of us for the first time ever, Andrew was at Nathan's and Dad wasn't well enough to go.
We tidied my Gran's grave and put some fresh flowers.
Mum spoke to her as soon as we arrived and had a conversation as if we'd gone to her house for a

When I left I touched the headstone and said "God Bless" (my Grandad is there too) it was the 20th anniversary of her burial.

You never get over losing someone you love, you just get used to them not being there in the flesh, and I miss her hugs and kisses.

Thank you. I haven't got graves to visit for any of my grandparents - they've all been cremated. Two are scattered in garden of rememberances, one in Suffolk, one in Norfolk, and one buried under a tree somewhere he shouldn't have been.

We are going to scatter my nan's ashes on the Thames, so at least I will feel as if I can visit there.