h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After lengthy testing I have determined that its not what's in a glass that gets you drunk - its the size of the glass.

Now, I grant you, at first reading this may seem obvious. But - its actually more complex than it seems. Its the relationship between the size of the glass and its opening (usually found at the top) that is crucial. I find that when I drink out of glasses with small openings, I get drunk much slower than if I were drinking out of, say, a pint glass.

In fact, this has led me to believe that it is not alcohol which gets you drunk at all - its all the air that squeezes into the glass through the opening and makes you squiffy.

I'm off for some more testing - anyone want to join me?
Cheers,
Lee

I find that glasses with larger rims allow more air in, and so more flavour as you taste the beers aroma each time you take a sip. So, with glasses with smaller rims you end up taking more sips to try and get the same amount of taste, therefore getting more drunk. But, on the flip side, larger rims, larger sips.

Pastey

I'm with Lee on this one, I know an individual who underwent an initiation ritual that involved drinking a 'yard of port'. Now the 'yard of ale' glass that was used had a rather small opening - certainly in proportion to the amount of port. As my mate was still standing nearly half an hour later, I suggest he was not as drunk as he should have been or indeed would have been if something more appropriate - say a bucket - had been used.

I think that whatever the glass was, it was either not a true 'yard' or not port, since a yard glass contains 3.5 pints of fluid, and port is usually about 25% alcohol.

That's nearly a pint of ethanol, going into your body in less than half-an-hour, which will kill anyone smaller than a horse

A true Yard glass contains two pints.

Mind you, one Schooner of Port and I'm on the floor