h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

While I feel safer in Israel than America, you may be glad to know I'm back. in fact I spent the last two months in a jewish camp educating the small and helpless about socialism and zionism. it's fun to bring young minds outside the box, if only slightly. now I have returned home for another delightful year of high school, though it thankfully will be my last. My sojourn in the wilds of arabia also taught me about several useful substances that might make boring america-based adolescent existence more tolerable, and I'm afraid I will be in close contact with such.

how goes things on your side? you're located in canada if I recall correctly, I'm off on a family vacation to ottawa and montreal tomorrow morning. maybe we will unknowingly pass on the street. oh the enticement, oh the melodrama, oh the monotonous hum that is family time. talk to ya, perhaps even sooner than we'll know.

Hi, hope you enjoyed your visit to Ottawa... that is, indeed, my home town, and I'm pretty fond of it. Don't suppose you used my Guide entry to find your way around did you?

Glad to hear you're alive and well, at any rate. I'm rather exhausted these days... I've spent most of the summer at work and seen very little of the outside world. I have sort of given up on H2G2 for the time being, although I check in once in a blue moon for messages or what not. One place I've been having a lot of fun online is the message boards for landover baptist... drop by and read up a bit.

Anyways, time for bed. Let me know the next time your family vacations up this way... you haven't tried Canada until you've tried Canadian weed.

Ottawa was pretty... I had the joy of driving around with my parents and their guidebook for days, but the last night there my friend (a native) came and I walked around with him. Things were much better. We even strolled by Zaphod Beeblebrox's, which I got really excited about. Unfortunately, unlike in Israel, my being a wee bit underage is a hamper on nightlife type activity, but to even have walked by was strangely fulfilling.

We also sat and talked by the 'eternal flame' in front of your parliament, which, very much unlike the US Capitol building, seems to be curiously unguarded or fenced in. As it was 3 AMish, we were safely out of range of any meandering politicians or my fellow tourists, and my impression was that I could easily have walked up to the front door and knocked. (or placed explosives, or any other sort of fun) I hear the eternal flame has gone out several times though, I was originally dissapointed but I have now carefully placed that information in the 'amusing' category.

I think, due to the living quarters of a certain grandmother being located in be privileged to enjoy what I hear is f*****g good herb, eh?

I see the earth has made another trip around the sun for you. Congratulations.

I'm glad you enjoyed your visit to our little town. Sorry you didn't get to see the inside of Zaphod's... they had a really nice memorial service for Douglas Adams there, people watched the HHGG series on a big screen and got pissed on Googleplexes. If you're ever in the area again, you're welcome to look me up, I'd be happy to show you around and buy you a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster sometime. You're obviously way too intelligent to ever have a prayer of functioning normally in society, and I think the best thing I could do to help you would be to help kill some of those excess braincells with toxins. It's worked for me.

Our parliament buildings have been mobbed numerous times because of the relative lack of apparent security, but you'd be surprised how quickly those guys in the dorky uniforms can mobilize when the excrement plarbfs against the fan.

I actually lit a joint in the eternal flame once. Very satisfying.

You should write about your trip and submit it as an editorial addition to the entry I wrote.

I have been strangely free of pressing commitments of late, and as such have time to peruse the guide. The brilliant institution of compulsory education will begin anew tomorrow, however, so this free spell is soon to end.

For my birthday cake my loving parental units picked me up an apple pie at 7-11. No candle though, only the precious knowledge that they cared, which warmed my heart more than any flame ever could.

When DNA died I was in Israel - when I found out, I was actually surreptitiously online during physics class, at which point I exclaimed a bit too loudly "Oh man, douglas adams died!" the americans said, "Oh, who's that?" and my israeli teacher just said "Get off the computer".

That night I got absolutely shitfaced in his memory, all the rest of my class just did it as their daily ritual. Nothing like cheap israeli vodka for solemn memorials, though.

I appreciate the offer, maybe I'll even get to take you up on it soon. Mmm. Toxins.