h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How can the current England team be so dire?
Individually there are some of the very best players in the world. I'd put Beckham and Owen on a world squad, Cole is no slouch and so on. Can these people not motivate themselves when they put on an England shirt?
*rants off in a huff*

To be scrupulously fair to England, it didn't seem to be effort that was lacking against Finland - just inspiration and creativity. What is truly alarming is that the star-studded England midfield failed to dominate against a Finnish midfield that included someone who can't always get in the starting 11 at Stockport County.
I've just been reading some interesting comments from Dave Bassett on the Sporting Life website, in which he suggested that perhaps the FA should consider recruiting a successful Nationwide League manager to replace Kevin Keegan. It's an idea that I think deserves serious consideration.
The unpalatable truth is that England haven't been one of the best teams in the world for decades. France or Holland, say, are technically and tactically far superior, and for England to succeed against such superior opposition they'll need to be supremely well-organised. They are now a struggling side in international terms, and I think the FA could do far worse than to look to someone who has taken a small, unfashionable club and made it more successful than anyone expected.
How about, for instance, Ipswich's George Burley - or even Dave Bassett himself? He's used to relegation struggles, and England are now serious candidates for relegation from the front rank of world soccer. The World Cup 2002 qualifying campaign now looks like an uphill struggle to retain a status that's been taken for granted for far too long.

Is Alan Buckley doing anything since Grimsby sacked him? He was quite good at getting the most from tired and or talentless footballers.
What could be even worse for England is that Scotland and Ireland look as though they may qualify. There's no other course open to me but to practice my "Fields of Athenry" it seems .

Ireland in particular do look to have a good chance. If Scotland qualify, though, I'm sure they'll maintain the time-honoured tradition by which they suffer a narrow, unlucky defeat against classy opponents and then screw up disastrously against some bunch of plucky minnows.
Come to think of it, though, England have a recent record of consistently JUST qualifying for major tournaments in the least convincing and most undignified manner possible. Perhaps they'll manage that again. It's the most we can realistically hope for now.

How true!

But I'm not sure we can consider relegating ourselves just yet. When we've given a decent manager a few seasons in charge (in my experience, which only spans back twenty years, admittedly), we've done quite well - 86 and 90, and 96, of course. I'd even go as far as to include 98. After all, after the 96 and 98 campaigns our ranking points took us back up into the top six or something on the world chart - my brain tells me third but I can't quite believe that now.

My point is this - yes, we have world class players but no stability in the team - whether personnel, tactics, coaching (backroom staff keeps changing with the manager!) or direction. There is only one solution - appointing the right man and standing by him long enough to bring the current youngsters through into battle-hardened internationals. At least four years, in other words.

Ironically, the right man won't need such support or protection from the press because he'll probably do the job well....if only the FA will learn that the manager is there to win things for England and not there to agree with the FA.

But Andy Cole? Sorry, still not convinced. A few games ago he would run around the penalty box desperately looking for a pass and bottling any opportunity to strike. Well, he's working hard and pulling the trigger, but now beginning to embarrass himself.

If we must play two up then try out Phillips, or Smith. Maybe even Bridges. But if you are having two dedicated strikers then both need to score regularly. Which I think means we also have to think about where Heskey can be useful - he does have merits but I think he needs a bit more European experience before he's really ready for England...