h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was at the football last night. Lancaster City, the team I have a season ticket for, were playing Skelmersdale in the Unibond League First Division North Playoff Semi FInal. We finished second in the league with 96 points, 4 behind Halifax and 21 ahead of third place Colwyn Bay,

The first half was tough going. Skem were dominating the play, and we defended for most of the half, going in 0-0 at the break. Early in the second half, our nerves were settled a bit as Paul Jarvis chipped the goalkeeper after a lovely run. 55 mins, 1-0.

The second half progressed, we began to assert control, but couldn't score. Nervous times. We then replaced 38-goal top-scorer Jordan Connerton (who we have sold to Crewe for £30k) with the half-fit Adam Farrell, normally his partner up front.

ANd then, ten minutes for time, I felt the feeling that we all watch this game for. Sheer, unadulterated joy.Farrell got onto the end of a ball out of midfield, around 35 yards from goal, moved a few paces forward and unleashed a fierce, unstoppable strike past the bewildered Skem goalkeeper. Cue bedlam. The vast majority of the 386 fans were hugging each other, the subs bench emptied, manager Tony Hesketh and his assistant Phil Brown danced down the touchline Mourinho style. Goalkeeper Martin Fearon joined the team huddle near Skem's penalty area. The delight, the joy, was greater than any one moment I have ever experienced at a football match before. I have had more enjoyment out of my season ticket than I EVER Have watching Everton.

And if we beat Colwyn Bay in the final on Saturday, and secure promotion, I may even top that moment of Farrell's 25th goal of the season. He's the kind of man who misses tap ins but give him the ball 25 yards out and I would never bet against him.

It's been gradually growing since I first watched them six years ago, but I think I love Lancaster City Football Club.

So I would like to salute the squad of my team. They may not be as illustrious as my other club Everton, they may be amateurs, but they care more than any millionaire footballer does, and all in front of an average crowd of 200 twice a week. And for little money and little credit.

So I would like you all to know who these men in my affections for the last eight months have been.

The cast:

GK: Martin Fearon, Neil Beesley
Def: Rob Henry, Neil Marshall, Andrew Teague, Michael Stringellow, Guy Heffernan, Jonathan Smith, Alex Kenyon
Mid: Michael Rushton, Roger Sharrock, Paul Jarvis, Jerome Watt, Chris Ward, Dominic Ward, Rob Wilson, Aaron Helliwell
Fwd: Jordan Connerton, Adam Farrell, Max Rothwell, Danny Hattersley

Supporting cast (players who have left over the course of the season):

GK: Mark Thornley
Def: Ian Flannery
Mid: Michael West, Seydou Bamba
Fwd: Mark Jackson

And now onto the home final v Colwyn Bay