h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Surprised I'm the first to start this, but what the hell, everyones probably too drunk to. Everton Have qualified for the champions league, after every other bar-steward claimed we would be relegated. Top bannana!

Carry on.

I'd like to dedicate this victory to the Daily Mail, who not only predicted that we would finish bottom and challenge Sunderland's all-time Premiership low of 19 points, but even as late as January, when we hadn't been out of the top 4 in four months, claimed that James Beattie should have joined Villa as they would "obviously finish higher than everton"

It is an amazing achievement. Much like Bolton, I don't like watching them play, but you can't quibble with how far they've got with it.



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It's great for English football to have a different team in the Champions League - well done Everton! It'll be interesting to see how Bolton get on in the UEFA cup as well.

As an aside (okay, this is going to get confusing, but what the heck...) - if Liverpool do miraculously beat AC Milan in the final, and then UEFA changes its mind again and gives England five teams in the Champions League, does that mean there'll only be two teams (Bolton & other) from England in the UEFA Cup (Excluding the fair play league thing which might get us another one)? Or will qualification extend down to 8th place in the Premiership?

"Or will qualification extend down to 8th place in the Premiership?"

For Liverpool's sake we should just let every team in, and a couple from the first division/championship. Because clearly league position doesn't mean a thing

"Because clearly league position doesn't mean a thing"

Um, there's no way either the FA or UEFA can go back on their word now, so Everton have qualified no matter what. And speaking as a Liverpool fan (nominally), I quite frankly don't care whether we end up in the UEFA Cup or the Champions League next season - it's way more than we deserve for our (away) league form this year.

It'll be strange to not have the holders defending their trophy if Liverpool do win the final, but if that's the way UEFA wants to do it, there's no way anyone from England can make them change their mind - UEFA never usually listens to us anyway.

Anyway, I said it before, and I'll say it again - good luck to Everton next season, they deserve to have a go at the Champions League. League tables don't lie and all that.

Apparently UEFA is coming under a certain amount of pressure from sponsors to allow Liverpool into the Champions League next year if they do go ahead and beat Milan in the final. There is no word as to whether that will be as a fifth English team in the competition, or in at the expense of Everton.

Either was it is a pretty sad state of affairs. Liverpool this season are not good enough to qualify under the competition's established criteria. Therefore should not, in my book, have a place next season. It all rather smacks of Ronaldo / Nike and the France 98 final

In the meantime: top bombing there, Everton

If that's the case it certainly is a sad state of affairs. I hope it doesn't come down to that - there's a small part of me that wants Liverpool to lose the final just so that none of it can happen.

Only a small part, mind you...

johanssen has invited the FA to make a formal request to UEFA for a 5th spot, so maybe everyone will end up happy.

Champions League, you're havin a laugh!

The rest of the league must really be total rubbish if the fourth place team just fold up like they did tonight!

Fantastic Acheivement losing 7-0

Well, that was embarrassing.

However.....

Playing like that I think there are few teams that Arsenal wouldn't have massacred last night.

A few performances apart (Villa, Man Utd, Newcastle), Everton have been poor for some time now. The squad is paper thin and a lot of players are either knackered or not match fit (Bent, Kilbane, Beattie) or carrying injuries (Hibbert, Pistone) or both. We've got a good first team if everyone is fresh and fit, but no strength in depth. I can't work out how we ended up 4th, but the table doesn't lie.

And it was *never* a penalty....

We were crap last night, but Arsenal were sensational. Everton ahd a load of players with nothing left to play for who phoned in a performance. All season they've had to do something to hold onto a place in the top four but once we'd finally got it they just disintegrated.

Arsenalw ere playing their last home game of the season, saying goodbye to Edu, and Bergkamp was trying to earn a new contract. And if he hasn't, then the club should be ashamed of themselves. he was awesome. Nitpicker, I'm surprised your post about the match is entirely critical of evrton rather than singing the praises of your own team, who were outstanding lasst night- as I said, teh non-flying Dutchman in particular played some of the ebst football he has in years last night.

"Champions League, you're having a laugh"- Yes, we are. At the expense of Liverpool, Newcastle, Middlesbrough, Tottenham and any other team who've spent millions of pounds trying to get into the top four only to be pipped by Everton, a small squad of journeyman withf ew real stars who have survived most of the season on adrenaline and then capitulated once they've achieved what they need to. Rather than scoffing at Everton, DD< you might want to consider how Liverpools squad costing over £100million has been outperformed in the league by an Everton side whose three best players of last season all left, and who, on bad days, play like they did last night. They were still goood enough to finish above Lioverpool, and 15 other Premeirship teams. So you ight want to remember that before scoffing at the terrible performance in an end of season match which didn't mean that much. It's wiped our goal difference out, but we won't be level on points with anyone, so who cares?

Egon I didn't hurl abuse at Everton all season I just hope that after we win our 5th European Cup in Turkey that both Merseyside giants do battle in Europe side by side in the same tournament as they should have done in the late 80s.

I'm just commenting on any premier team losing to another 7-0.

"Egon I didn't hurl abuse at Everton all season "

And where did I say you did?

Why is nothing Everton do simple?

That was embarrasing... great season, but we just can't play against Arsenal... and I thought us being relaxed might actually be a good thing.

That match effectively puts paid to Number Six winning Phantasy Phootball this year. He has no Arsenal players, but he does has Alessandro Pistone. Whoops.

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Erm, he does have Ashley Cole... unless my eyes are deceiving me.

Looks pretty close for second after Pires' goals last night and Gudjohnsen's goal the night before.

Indeed - shame Touré didn't play last night.

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There are currently 5 points in it for second; Demon Drawer is back on the bottom; and Magwitch has overtaken McKay. Not bad for a girl.

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