h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just to wish you good luck for tomorrow. I am sick of Wimbledon and what with Charlton coming up, we need to lose a London team. They have lost any charm that they had and are just a boring little outfit.
Still I always savour the big ones - where your nerves a jangling for days before. It's what it's all about.

Thank you. The game is live on Radio 5, so my neighbours will be hearing all manner of strange, guttural, semi-human cries from me tomorrow between 3pm and 5pm as I listen to the commentary.
After that, I'll be running over to the nearest pub to watch the second half of Sheffield Wednesday v Leeds on Sky. In the circumstances, I'll have to root for Leeds - which is (dare I say it) rather like you having to cheer on Spurs!
I've bought my train ticket to go to Leicester next Saturday for City's penultimate game of the season. Here's hoping we'll be trying to extend our unbeaten run to four games that day!
Oh sod it. I'm typing this at 1:50am on Sunday morning and I've started thinking about the Wimbledon game now. I'll never sleep...

Told you they were crap. At least your making a fight of it. Tell the truth now, if last August you were told that with three games left survival would be in your own hands, you would've settled for that wouldn't you?

Sorry about that, somehow I entered into the consciousness of Baldrick but that message is actually from me. Baldrick is in fact another user of my terminal, a fact which I have only just discovered.

Oh, don't worry, androyd! All I ask is that you wish us well again before next Saturday's match at Leicester (which I'm going to). After your last "good luck" posting, we certainly had some good fortune today. And some very helpful incompetence and stupidity from the opposition...

H'mm.
When I was about seven, I was treated to a "knicker bocker glory" at Forte's cafe at Rhos on Sea. Great piles of various coloured ice cream in a glass with nuts and cherries and 100s & 1,000s and cream and at the bottom in the pointy bit of the cone shaped glass, the most amazingly red coloured transparent liquid. I struggled to get the contents down my neck, eventually enlisting the aid of my grandma, aunt & uncle to clear the way to the red stuff.
Finally I raised the glass to savour the desired substance.
It tasted vile.

So, I see this site "the Big One" and can hardly wait.

Sodding football AND from the wrong side of the Pennines.

Life? Don't talk to me about life.

Well, plaguesville, out of respect for the h2g2 Terms and Conditions regarding offensive postings, I'm going to resist the temptation to speculate about what you might have hoped "The Big One" was.
And "wrong side of the Pennines" indeed! If you're from Lancashire, I guess that explains your nickname...

A hearty congratulations Ormy - a well deserved position from which to dictate your own destiny. As I'm sure I've mentioned, I think a few big clubs going down is possibly the salvation of our game - it'll make the big boys who try to spend their way out of trouble look over their shoulders - and maybe bring the crazy fees and wages slowly back down again.......Come on Bradford!

I guess to Spurs fans, Wimbledon and Southampton are seen as 'big' clubs
I wish you exactly the same luck that we had v West Ham, drawing deep into injury-time and ref waves on a clear handball, a shot deflects wickedly off a defender and it's the winner with 10 secs left on the clock. Just time to dismiss an opponent.
So that's the luck I wish you for Leicester, let's hope we're both celebrating by Saturday evening.

Thank you both, Zebedee and Androyd. The strange thing is that the two teams Bradford still have to play met at Anfield tonight, with Leicester pulling off a surprise 2-0 away win. I'm not sure whether to think "Oh @#%, we're gonna get stuffed at Filbert Street on Saturday" or "Great, the Scousers are off-form - maybe we'll beat 'em at our place on the last day."

Interestingly for the last several years Liverpool have tended to finish their last 3/4 matches poorly - up until this year it hasn't really mattered. Mind you however poor they have still managed to beat us .
Leicester are an inconsistent team and may just take it easy having achieved such a good victory. The thing is that the standards are quite close at least to the extent that if any team is not up to scratch any other team may beat them - just look at your result against us. In most games teams get chances to score, the question is: Are your team good enough to take their chances? We still have to get 4 points from 3 games - if we can't do that then we don't deserve to finish second. Remeber it's only the mancs who believe they have a god-given right to win everything convienently forgetting all those glorious years when they were crap.
Anyway, enjoy the tension.

Despite your wish to maintain propriety, I'll tell you anyway.
There was a film "the Big Red 1" starring Burt Lancaster, Burt Mitchum or Burt Wayne dealing with the first Battalion of crack US regiment or some such - the squaddies all wore a red "1" as part of the insignia. When the film was shown on TV the announcer called it "the big RED one" instead of "the big red ONE" ... it doesn't work well in print.

Hmmm.
Well you made a good job of the London mayoral thing, it's just Bradford and global warming for you to fettle.

"The finest sight a Yorkshireman will ever see is the M62 Westbound."
Dr. Johnson.
If you ever need a visa, let me know.

I guess you must be desperate to talk to anyone. I'll come and visit your homepage. Anyone who can describe the M62 as a fine sight in any direction is in need of help. In my experience what with the nose-to-tail traffic and the lousy weather you're lucky to see anything at all on the M62 except rain and exhaust fumes.

Huh!

Three points clear.

What was all the fuss about?

In about three days when Ormondroyd comes down off the ceiling he'll realise that all he has got is the chance to go through it all again next season. Now you find out how good your manager and directors really are. Still a chance for revenge. And Wimbledon gone

The only thing more satisfying than getting the Mackem away support to shut up today was the other results at full-time. Bradford up, Wimbledon down, Leeds in 3rd place and Arsenal beaten.

All fully deserved.

And Ormy - well done sir, glad to have you with us for another season.

Thank you. I am back down off the ceiling, thank you after the euphoria of seeing the City players arrive by open-topped bus for their civic reception to celebrate coming 17th. Tomorrow I shall buy the special edition of the Bradford Telegraph & Argus (the local paper) that's being produced to mark what they're all calling "The Great Escape".
Believe me, I know it isn't going to be much easier next season. Our excellent (Scouse) manager Paul Jewell has already said that the target for the 2000-01 season is to avoid relegation with a week to spare.
Let no-one say that Bradford City Football Club lacks ambition.

Just as long as you roll over and give us six points next season I wish you all the best against the rest. At least you are a club and supporters who seem to genuinely appreciate football at the top level.

Do you have a decent youth policy or will it be a test of your managers buying acumen? TO stand still at this level is not enough.

I'm in mourning but at least it wasn't undeserved victory- Arsenal just didn't really play. Nearly as poor as against Bradford

Yes, hard luck.
I watched the match on TV and it certainly wasn't the most riveting two hours' entertainment I've ever encountered. Still, at least you were safe. Those scenes of mayhem in the centre of Copenhagen were truly scary, and tonight I'll be phoning a friend of mine who went up there for the game just to make sure he got out in one piece.
As for the Bradford youth policy, this is something that's being worked on at present. We are the only Premiership club without a youth Academy, but one is due to be launched next season. For now, though, we'll have to buy in some younger players for next season.
The great thing is that, whatever happens, I'll actually SEE more of my first football love next season! For various reasons I've decided to end my long exile in London, and at the first opportunity I'll be snapping up a Bradford season ticket for 2000-01. It's a snip at £272, which would probably get you in for maybe four or five games at Chelsea!

Well that's not bad, at least your club is not being greedy....yet!!
I don't know about Chelsea but my season ticket is outrageously priced at £247 but that does include £36 for two cup ties last season oh and 6 cup ties next season. And they said an Arsenal bond was a waste of money