h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is it just bread and cucumbers, or is something else involved as well?

Very thinly sliced brown bread and butter, cucumber sliced so as to retain a little crunch. Great-Great Granny W used to put a smidgeon of caster sugar as well to stop the cucumber repeating.

Don't forget to slice the crusts off the sandwiches before serving with a nice cup of Earl Grey

OR

Take two baguettes and one cucumber, slice the baguettes & butter, chop the cucumber in half lengthways & fill baguettes!

OR

Take two slices of whatever bread you've got in the kitchen, butter & spread with Marmite, slice cucumber thickly and add to butty. Serve with a of Holt's Best Bitter

Thanks. I'll have to try those recipes as soon as I can get ahold of a cucumber.

Not sure what caster sugar or Marmite is--perhaps they're British words for things with different names in the US?

Caster sugar is finer grained sugar, but still normal white sugar.

Marmite is yeast spread, brown stuff that smells.

Bread, cucumber and a little vinegar. No butter.

quite nice too with a little wholegrain or dijon mustard actually a mustard sandwich in itself is rahter nice...

Don't forget to sprinkle the cucumber slices with salt and let them sit for 15 - 20 minutes first - it draws a lot of the moisture out of them and stops the bread from going soggy.

I assume that since you're unfamiliar with caster sugar and Marmite you might also not know that American cucumbers just aren't right for this - you need the ones sold as either English or hothouse cucumbers.

Assuming you're in America, that is. Apologies if I'm making an incorrect assumption.

I'm in California, actually, which isn't so much America as a parallel universe. Darn. I don't know if I can get English or hothouse cucumbers here, but I can try.

How to make a cucumber Sandwich.

1. pull the cord/bell cord

2. when the butler arrives, ask him to have cucumber sandwichs made and sent up along with a pot of earl gray.

3. sit back in your c chair and shoot a few more peasants with your shotgun through the open bay window until the butler returns.

4. when the butler returns inspect the sandwichs and tea, if satasfactory made then dismiss the butler, if not satasfactory, beat the butler with the shotgun end for three minutes then dismiss him.

5. eat sandwichs and sip earl gray tea

Parallel universe - nice one

I'd bet several times my monthly paycheque that you can get English cucumbers in California. They probably even grow them there. They may or may not be seasonal (I'm currently buying one or two each week from a couple of different supermarkets), but I reckon you could get them from, for instance Wholefoods*. Check out whatever speciality/upmarket food store there might be in your area - right now I'm paying $1.99 for each one, and that's out of season. They're closer to a dollar during the summer.

The skin and seeds of American cucumbers are just too coarse for proper cucumber sandwiches. It can be done but it's a lot more fiddly and time-consuming.

*BBC disclaimer: Other whole/health food shops and stores are available.

Thanks. I was already planning on going to a local "hippie food" store for some other stuff this weekend, so I'll see if I can find some English cucumbers.

I think the majority of HooToo researchers are English cucumbers. Cucumbers don't half give me indigestion.

Sorry, a bit random. This particular English Cucumber is a tad drunk.

Speak for yourself! I'm more of a peach , well i bruise like one anyway.

btw, only a tad?

Just a smidgeon. I've got do some *proper* drinking tomorrow, and don't want to oversleep & miss 2legs at Knigs Scros station again!

Oh aye, so you have.

Have several for me too, cuz I'm a skint and in Stockport and won't be attending

I shall endeavour to. What should I drink for you?

(I thought of taking the laptop to do a webcast thingy but have realised how bleedin' stoopid that would be. And I haven't got a clue how to set it up).