h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As Santa's 'traditional' red clothing was the decision of a certain soft drinks manufacturer; how come we have to leave out for him our father's favourite ALCOHOLIC beverage?

Why oh why isn't his tradistional costume dark brown (almost black) with a cream lining on top of it?

Because the Irish already had him as a Saint and there is a harp on the glass anyway.

Well, how come there isn't a rival Santa dressed in blue?

Because that would need to be a whole new generation of Santa's

It seems unfair that there's just one Santa with a monopoly on present delivery across the whole world. It's time the market was opened up to competition.

I think Maggie was about to privatise that service just before John took over. Hence the still presnet monopoly.

Is that why so many kids get Monopoly for Christmas?

Could be. It's also in red see.

Hmmmm. I never thought of that.

All the reindeer's fault I reckon. Ever since Blitzen was elected shop steward the union have been lobbying hard...

I just think there should be some kind of alternative. I mean, what if the reindeer accidentally fly into some overhead power lines? That's the entire system up the spout.

"how come we have to leave out for him our father's favourite ALCOHOLIC beverage?"

My girls leave out milk which then sits around until midnight.

But a nice pint would make much happier!

Well you go into the shops and you can buy him in white/cream or green instead. Haven't seen a blue one though.

Is the green one sponsored by 7-Up?

I do apologise for our American cousins. This whole milk phenomena probably stems back to the days of prohibition. Shame!!!

? That'll keep him warm! In my house we don't leave anything out for him. If he can't deliver the out of the goodness of his then he shouldn't be doing it. No matter what fashion he's following.

He was originally green. Or at least his suit was.

My sister used to live in Suffolk and one of the farmers used to collect presents from the local households where there were children. Then on christmas day he used to come round dressed as Santa and deliver them back to the appropriate houses.

Of course everyone gave Santa a tipple and after a few houses the sleigh was all over the place and you couldn't guarantee that the children would get their own present.