h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In my youth, I worked as a paramedical technician in the operating theatres of St. Thomas' Hospital, London. One morning, I was detailed to work on a list of patients who were having their ingrowing toenails removed. I found it strange that everybody seemed to be staying out of my particular operating theatre that day, until somebody explained that on the previous Sunday evening most people had watched the film "Carve Her Name With Pride". They could not help but cringe, thinking of the scene where the heroine, Violet Szabo, has her toenails pulled out by her captors.

Oh, I must go and seek out that film and make a point of watching that scene. When hell freezes over.

Did you know that toenails get thicker as you get older? I have to use a metal file on my 'big toe' nails to keep pressure of my shoes off them. Pity I cannot file the arthritic bunnions off the same way.

Chiropodists say 'cut your toe nails straight across to prevent in-growing from occurring'. This is because people tend to cut the nail in an exaggerated curve which cuts too close back to the nail bed in the corners. However you don't have to have a completely straight cut. Just make a slight curve and avoid cutting back in to the nail bed at the sides. Hope this helps 'cut back' on theatre time just a little, we get pretty busy you know.