h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Those who love B-Movies are a special breed that some would call idiots but I would call friends. Give me a wobbly spaceship hanging by a piece of string any day!

W-TIP, your usual high standard has been achieved, though you could have talked more about B-Movies themselves, as that's the fun bit.

Oh my God! They're heading right for us! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGH!!!

I guess that loving the so-called B-movies is a bit like laughing out loud in the cinema when everybody else sit quietlky, scared senseless.
I have been doing filmreviewing on a professional level and I had the pleasure of once reviewing a socalled actionmovie with gaps the size of Grand Canyon in both plot, scrips and set. I was sorrounded by howling teens, who ate it all raw. Thus I sat there, laughing when I was supposed to feel suspense and yawning when I was supposed to be entertained. The move was, well, bad, but I still recall it as one of the funniest reviews ever.
A bit like taking ID4 serious. (It already fails at the abbreviation...)

Could you answer a question?
Why B-Movies have so many fans, moreover, why B-Movies have fans?

Because we are entertained, that's why.
Thing is, we may not be entertained the way the fat producer wanted us to be entertained.

ID4 was a briliant B-movie. Everybody saw it in awe of beautiful special effects done on computers, but it was in essence a cheap B-movie! Today such can be enhanced using computers, you know.
Plot? I'm not sure the ID4 team know what that is or where to buy it.

B-Movies are wonderful in their terribleness - Tim Burton's 'Ed Wood' is a testimony to this - it really shows that these films are usually made with a heart and, despite every effort to make them works of cinematic 'art' - they fail so badly that we must love them. They're dumn, stupid, corny and marvellous.

'ID4' had no heart, because it tried too hard and so did 'Mars Attacks' (though I do have a soft spot for them both, esp. 'Mars Attacks'). Maybe it was the huge budgets each of them had - I think both would have been better films had they been made for $2 million and no name actors in them - that's half the comedy.

I can but agree!

B-movies have 2 kinds of fans.First, the clueless who think this stuff is high art and take the heroes seriously.These people don't know good from bad,television from radio.The second kind of fan is the one who knows the stuff is bad and revels in it.There are some of these that fall in the Z Movie category that I like.I howl at the corny lines,being able to see the tripod in the reflections aand the boom mike being lowered onto the actors head.If it's bad enough I can learn from the mistakes of others.The knowing film buff who watches such fare can have a great time.

There is a third category of B-Movie lover, the ones that aren't quite film buffs, and aren't taking the film at face value, but know exactly what said B-movie will deliver and know that they'll be entertained in spite of, and because of the cheapness of it all. Just like with major league action movies. I mean when was the last time You took Arnie seriously?

Hey - don't be so harsh on Arnie!
Remember, he'll be back.

Okay, modern style B-mobvies must be the flicks who solely rely on computergraphics, famous names on the poster and cheap one-liners.
Sooo... Maybe Arnie really IS a B-move actor. (But I'm sure not gonna tell him face to face!)

BTW - Whose to say if Arnie would be one of the 30,000+ researchers of the Guide?!?

I'd be looking over my shoulder constantly.

No discussion of B-Movies would be complete without mentioning the Troma films. Toxic Avenger, Sgt Kabukiman, Pihrana Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death, Tromeo & Juliet - these guys go out of their way to make the worst films they can - and with a knowing wink they can often be very funny as well.

Bad can in deed be fun too!

Yes I love those Trauma films. I used to go to see B movies in Boston at a theater called Pi Alley Theater. They tore this "high quality theater down years ago, but I saw Evil Dead Part II there along with many others. I wish there where more venues like that. I think that it is interesting that the best B movies where almost always shown at Drive In Theaters. The world needs more of them.

Where do I sign to make this happen?

I know of two in New Hampshire but the one I used to go to as a kid, in Braintree Mass, has been turned into a parking lot / driving range. You can still see the screen, rusting and covered in vines, in the distance. It brings tears to my eyes every time I pass by. I think back to my youth when me and my friends would grab a couple Heffenreffer - a local cheap malt beer - and sit on the hill and watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre like films.

Most decent movies should have chainsaws in them!

This could be fun how many Cainsaw movies are there. Well all the Texas Chinsaw movies there are at least two. Evil Dead Part Two, the third Evil Dead Movie, can't remember the name. Hmmm help me out here.

How about a StarWars with a chainsaw?

Sounds like fun. It would be a bit messy though, the light saber is much cleaner.

Yeah, but think of how many Ewoks you could erradicate

Yes, Yes, Yes I can see their mangled flesh fly across the screen as they sing their "happy songs", hehehee. Wow I would go see that movie just to see that. We could even through in a couple of Jar Jar Binks like characters for good measure. I would love to see a chainsaw plunging through those goofy long ears. Hmmm am I getting to graphic here.