h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello! And welcome to H2G2, the online, earth edition of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy! There are all sorts of friendly people here, most of whom are mostly harmless .

So... an Austin Powers/ Douglas Adams/ Simpsons fan? You've got good tastes! Have a good day!

~Irving Washington, ACE hopefull

Oh, and I almost forgot. God's a researcher on H2G2. Her page is here http://www.h2g2.com/U98357 . She's asked me to club people over the head until they except the true words, which are slightly false. Now, don't make me get nasty!

~Irving, Spreader of the Word and Such

Irving! You are quite a good disciple. I went to Her page and applied for a job. Thank you for the warm welcome. I'm slightly confused, you mentioned Austin Powers, The Simpsons, but who is this Douglas Adams person?

All figments of my imagination that appeared to me on your user page while I was under the influence of Her spirit

Is this a cult or an official religion? And what is its name?

Um... I've been asking God that myself!

In the rebellious spirit of the welcome you gave me, g'day from motorcycling heaven
- Hey Australia is God's own country...so I hope this God person is an Aussie.

Aww.. Thanks. =) That might be motorcycling heaven, but I'm from the state where one of the major Harley Davidson plants is located. So, I guess this would be motorcycling purgatory, or something or other.

Hello Shelly

Irving mentioned in a previous post he was an ACE-hopeful. Now he is an ACE, along with myself and many other volunteers. We are the Assistant Community Editors, and it is our job to greet new researchers (and not so new researchers as well). Please feel free to stop by the ACE homepage sometime:
http://www.h2g2.com/a214796

If you ever have any questions about h2g2 or just need a hand, we are all more than willing to help. See you around!

-TVF

Happy New Year
It's summer down here, and that's really something you should know if you are going to send your geology teacher off to capture one of those elusive dinosaurs - after all everybody knows that the dinosaurs only come out from their hiding places in summer (they can stand on top of each other behind a tree, and you'd never know that an entire herd of brontosaurs was but metres (sorry yards) away) (I believe it is also summer in deepest Africa, which, like Australia, is south of the equator).

And something else: the world *is* only 6000 years old, one of the dinosaurs told me....

Oh wow, now I feel so bad for calling the old man a crackpot mad scientist who wouldn't know his "arse" from a hole in the ground. I didn't say that to his face, though one of the dinosaurs did.
Summer? Some crazy mixed up land you live in. ;&gt Though I wouldn't attempt to move to the northern hemisphere, because of those really odd rituals that American naval personnel go through the first time they cross the equator. I don't know if those rituals are international law, or just hypocritical ceremonies of the highly homophobic American military. I wouldn't chance it if I were you.

Oh wow, now I feel so bad for calling the old man a crackpot mad scientist who wouldn't know his "arse" from a hole in the ground. I didn't say that to his face, though one of the dinosaurs did.
Summer? Some crazy mixed up land you live in. ;&gt Though I wouldn't attempt to move to the northern hemisphere, because of those really odd rituals that American naval personnel go through the first time they cross the equator. I don't know if those rituals are international law, or just hypocritical ceremonies of the highly homophobic American military. I wouldn't chance it if I were you.

OOPS... Please ignore the extraneous entry I accidentally added to the list. I'm still getting over my hangover from New Years Eve.

Yes I understand the hangover part completely. Even my mum (do you say mom?) was hungover hehehehe....
I've been to the USA once when I was a child and the experience has scarred me for life (I still remember vividly the rabies ads on TV with pictures of dogs attacking a fence) (and I know all about Disney and the lemmings too). Mind you, the whole TV thing itself was pretty new to me because I grew up on Bougainville island (Papua New Guinea) and there was no TV. Luckily we escaped the attentions of the US navy...although I think the ritual you're referring to is when a ship crosses the international date line and newbie crewmembers have to undergo a ritual involving Poseidon and unpleasant things, but I could be wrong and knowing those navy boys any excuse would do.....

Disney and the lemmings? You know the myth about lemmings running off cliffs? Well, apparently, Disney corp made a wildlife documentary about it...and paid people to catch lemmings for them so they could push them over a cliff and film it. Ah yes, nothing like creative documentary making....

Woohoo, looks like it's going to be a beautiful day here, I've taken a sickie from work, and my bike has a full tank of fuel....Mount Glorious, here I come! Actually, I have got the flu, and sneezing in your helmet is pretty disturbing, but what the hell, I'll risk it....

Disney's Lemmings? This is really bizarre. Though, I wouldn't put it past the Disney Corp. From what I've heard and read, Disney operates it's theme parks as if they have their own jurisdiction. I guess it would be comparable to embassies in a foreign country. They have their own police force to deal with any crimes or incidents and hush it up as soon as possible so they don't get bad publicity. Disney scares me. I hate Disney. I wish Matt Groening would hurry up and open his proposed theme park. (Oh, BTW, read this if you wonder why I'm so gung ho anti-Disney: "Disney: The Mouse Betrayed, by Peter and Rachelle Schweizer.")

What kind of bike do you have? I love motorcycles, but I don't have one. I never turn down a chance to ride on one either, unless it is a big scary guy with a nervous tic and an eye-patch, and Hate tattooed on one hand, and Hate on the other hand-- but otherwise, you know.

A dog attacking a fence commercial? Hmm.. I don't really remember that one. No TV? Wow. It boggles my American mind. What part of the US did you visit? I could totally understand the permanant scarring if it was a visit to the deep south. I'm sure Americans are just wierd enough, but southerners can tend to be freaks.

Hope you got rid of the flu. :&gt Write back soon.

By the way, I thought I should tell you that I'm awfully jealous that you live in the hemisphere where it is summer. I felt compelled to write this P.S. after I looked out the window and saw snow! Ahhh! Everyone around here is so happy, little do they know. I grew up in the mountains, I know what a pain in the arse it is.

(little bit of advice for you there....hopefully extraneous)

I ride a '93 Suzuki GSX750F (aka a Katana in the USA) that I recently got made into a 770...that extra 20cc makes all the difference!
erm...here, I'll show you (wooooh technology)

http://www.uq.net.au/~zzawhait/bikes3.jpg

Well, I have got a tattoo (not on my knuckles though), and I do get a nervous tic and drool if I haven't eaten in a while...but I don't have an eye patch. And everybody laughs if I ask them if they think I'm big and scary.

What have you got against eye patches, anyway? Eroll Flynn (is that how you spell it?) wore an eye patch once and it
didn't do anything negative for him - and what about that pommy bloke in "The Princess Bride" or that guy on "days of our lives"? Actually no, forget I mentioned that last one.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH NOOOOOOO
sorry for that outburst, I've just discovered that a TV program (Classic Albums - Bob Marley's "Catch a Fire") I thought was on at 8:30 was actually on at 7:30 because the cursed television station was advertising it on Eastern Daylight Time (daylight saving) and here in sunny Queensland we don't have daylight saving because it fades the curtains and upsets the cattle, doncher know.

Oh, and I don't just like Reggae...I'm rather fond of a variety of music. I think Slayer's "Angel of Death" is a great song to listen to just before a fast ride, and Ella Fitzgerald is sweeeet =)

Ah snow....yes, I remember that stuff - saw it once when I was a boy.....it was 43 degrees c here today (that's erm...lots more....in farenheit). Thankfully I'm off to the Gold Coast on Sunday for the "Big Day Out" - lots of bands - why, even some of your yankee bands are coming over to play (Foo fighters, Red Hot Chilli Peppers etc.). I will no doubt be forced to swim in the ocean on Monday to alleviate my massive hangover. Good thing sharks don't like beer, but I'll have to watch out for the stingers - those buggers love a good brew. I've seen heavy XXXX drinkers get swarmed...not a pretty sight.

=)

Gee.. Thanks for describing your summer wonderland with such zest. =>P I guess it doesn't get very cold where you live, even in the winter time. The Red Hot Chili Peppers are friggin' crazy. They frequently come out on stage only wearing their socks.. and not on their feet! I think the last concert I was at was Aerosmith. I like Ella Fitzgerald, and Billie Holiday, Tori Amos, Squirrel Nut Zippers, lots of Motown stuff- like Aretha Franklin, and the Jackson 5. I found this really cool MP3 site where you can download almost any song for free, so I can afford to be musically eclectic. Weeeee. Oh, you might want to check out that site: http:// www.napster.com
I don't think anything is wrong with eyepatches. In fact with the rate that modern fashion is going through fads, eye patches will probably be chic in a short time. I should get a jumpstart on it, and start sporting an eyepatch, a parrot on my shoulder, and a peg leg right now. ;&gt
Since you provided me with a pic of you and your favorite hobby, I'm going to give you a link to my friend's website where he has up a bunch of pics of us and our favorite hobbies. Namely, drinking, gambling, and consorting with women with questionable ethics. Go to http://stationinthemetro.com and click on the picture gallery link. Those are pics of my 21st birthday in Las Vegas. After experiencing Las Vegas, I won't be the same again... ever.
Take care. =)

P.S. I'll be the one who is labeled as Lauri in the pics. There are much better pics of the trip, but unfortunately those haven't been scanned as of yet.