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Where's the Cap'n?
Boo II Started conversation Jan 21, 2000
When I was making my tea the other day, I pulled a packet of bird's eye fishfingers out of the freezer and stopped dead whilst looking for preparation instructions (that's how good a cook I am - I actually need to be told how to cook fishfingers). I was gripped suddenly by a claustrophobic anxiety as I gazed in horror at birds eye's betrayal. I recovered the power of speech enough to say, 'But... Where's the Cap'n?'
For anyone who doesn't know, birds eye's range of fish-type products were carried along by a character named Captain Birdseye. He was basically a jolly, snappily dressed Buster Merryfield lookalike who sang fish-related songs to his crew of under-15's. Basically a children's entertainer in a naval uniform. Some people said 'Paedophilia!', but I could never beleive it. I always liked the Cap'n. He was my image of a decent seafaring bloke. At least when I was a kid. Since then I have always found his image... I don't know, comforting I suppose.
But the corporation has betrayed our dear Cap'n. Oh yes. He has been crushed under the caterpillar tracks of progress in favour of another Captain Birdseye. An impostor. Our treasured barnacle basher has been upsurped by a swarthy, mid 20s-early 30's male model with a designer stubble and his cap worn at a jaunty angle. As for his uniform, I've no doubt the REAL Captain Birdseye would beast him royally for his sloppiness. But we won't have the pleasure of seeing such an event because our generation's most respected ocean crusty has been shoved overboard by an icon for bored mums. It's a crime, it really is.
Join the growing mutiny against the Birdseye Impostor. He wants your mum. He craves your wife. He needs a shave.
Where's the Cap'n?
Lord Cartier Posted Jan 28, 2000
You know, I searched for *hours* trying to find a photo of Captain Birdseye on the web once. I was looking for the good old Cap'n, but there was no sign of either him *or* this new-fangled imposter blokey! Not even on the Birdseye official website!
What is going on? Are Birdseye ashamed of their Captain?! I want to see Cap'n Birdseye aplenty on your site before I look again!!!
Where's the Cap'n?
Boo II Posted Feb 3, 2000
A photo. Yes. I'll find one. I don't know what the bloody hell I'm going to do with it once I do, but I'll find it. I'm on a mission now.
Where's the Cap'n?
Boo II Posted Feb 14, 2000
I'm getting jack, man. Absolutely nothing but a few text mentions in articles about beards. I think that BirdsEye are conspiring to convince us that the real Cap'n never existed. Nevertheless, I'll continue searching.
Where's the Cap'n?
SteveT1974 Posted Oct 12, 2010
Here you go
The Original, and the new impostor
http://www.virginmedia.com/images/birdseye_split-431x300.jpg
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Where's the Cap'n?
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