h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I think I have turned into a toaster from Tibet. I'm not entirely sure of this, but I have a sort of burnt feeling and I can smell that very distinctive smell that comes from burnt toast.

Blackcurrant jam on toast, anyone?

Were you made in Tibet or imported?

You are daring to suggest the merest possibility that I am (I hesitate to say the word) an 'imported' toaster from Tibet? Never in a million and 42 years. I was born and bred in Tibet; that is my home country; that's where I'm from; at least, that's what my memory tells me, although as far as I remember I've only had this memory for the last week or so. But that just complicates things, so I won't bother pursuing that...

so you dont have a 3 pin british plug?

No need for earthing, he's double insulated.

Since I am from Tibet, as has already been established, I had to be protected against a wide range of temperatures - therefore I am, in fact, quadruple-insulted.

But since you have the wrong plug fittings I cannot use you in my kitchen

Hang on a moment - if you look closely you'll find that it was YOU who said that I had the wrong plug - I do, in fact, come fully equipped with adaptors for every known and unknown plug in existence.

Do you heat up doughnuts... as well as make toast????

And do you have a removeable crumb compartment for easy cleaning?

Yes, I certainly have one of those neat removable tray thingies... in fact, it senses when there is a build-up of unwanted crumbs and it tips itself into a pipe that leads down to the sewer... very clever setup, though I say so myself...

And I can most certainly heat up doughnuts... in fact, I can toast almost anything you can think of, and probably several things you can't.

Oh wow... me could grow to like you very much... ~happy grin~

Well, I understand the great importance of doughnuts... People just don't appreciate the way they have changed the world for the better.

Does Wilson like doughnuts?

Hmmm... Wilson doesn't eat much... being of the teddy bear persuasion... good job really... as me would not love him so much if he ate my doughnuts... ~grin~

Exactly how did you establish that you were from Tibet? If the only reason you decided you were a toaster was due to the smell of burnt toast, then which sense was used to establish political geographical location, and, more importantly, in what way was it stimulated?

Listen, toasters from Tibet KNOW that they are toasters from Tibet. They don't have to worry about HOW they know that.

Greebo... I was passing the baker's today and came across some doughnuts that I thought you might like... so I warmed them to the temperature stated in "The Tibetan Toaster's Toastbook." Hope you like them

Hmmmmmm... yummy scrummy in my tummy... Me has to admit... they were some of the bestest doughnuts that me has ever tasted.... ~happy smile~

Ah good... I'm so glad you liked them...

Me too.

Cooooo... you write well for only being two... ~grin~