h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YK] Hey, Affy. We've got ourselves a big mess here. It seems that Liz needs our help with her initiation into STUMPED. What's more, she's also taking Starman Jones, Ultros, and Ultros' friend Mr. Chupon.

Could I take Garius with me, and do I have the promise of all of the villains that they won't try to bump me off on the way up and down? Those wouldn't be necessary, of course, but they would make the trip more enjoyable.

[YK] Actually, I asked her that. She said she'd make SURE she wouldn't let them do so. She also said she wanted to be very specific with her party, and I don't want to tell her that you're inviting your own friends along. Although you might want to have him follow us secretly, just in case. I'm having Janine do that.

Okay, I'll remember that. Where's this mission? Same place as the last mountain trek?

So now what?

Now I wait for YK to answer my question: Is this adventure taking place in the same forum as the last time a group of people tried to climb Mt. SandEverest?

[Liz] [entering behind SJ] No. We start a new forum there, I guess. But give this new forum a similar name.

[YK] Kinda like "Most likely up to no good" and "Most likely up to some good"?

[Liz] I suppose so.

Okay, so you want a different *CONVERSATION*. I was merely asking if it could be in the same *FORUM*. Two different things.

[Liz] YES! ME WANT SAME FORUM!! YOU GET??

[YK] Liz, before this is over, could you get yourself a longer fuse?

[Ultros] [not getting it] Eh?

[Chupon] Fungahhh! [Subtitle: "A short fuse means you have a short temper."]

[Ultros] Ah! G'pha-haa!

(*looks at the people fighting*)This is gonna' take a while(*presses button on his belt and holo-chair appears. He sits down and begins to play with his watch, looks up quickly*) Hey! I'm a #$%^ bounty hunter! Whats in this little crusade for me?! I'm not doin' #$%^ until I see money or 7 very good reasons I should help you for free!

[Liz] Reason one, I'll give you some powers once I get mine back so your resumé won't say, "Bounty hunter and joke." Reason two, a thousand credits. [gives SJ two 500-credit coins] Reason three, that's just the first half. Reason four, you need the excersize.*

[Narrator] Reason five, all characters will undergo a class change, i.e. YK will change from a Jedi Knight to a Jedi Paladin (or possibly summoner), Janine will change from Blackbelt to Ninja, Starman Jones will change from "joke" to Fightermage**, etc.

[Liz] Reason six, there is no reason six. Reason seven, no pooftahs.***

[YK] I think he only needed reasons two and three.

[Liz] D'OH!

[*Footnote 1: I /really/ butchered the spelling of that, I think.]
[**Footnote 2: For information on what the zark a Fightermage is, go to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A533251 and look under "Classes: Fightermage". And added to Liz's enhancements, you'll be powerful enough, SJ.]
[***Footnote 3: This line was taken from Monty Python's "Bruce Sketch," only with rules instead of reasons.]

*Affy joins Starman Jones in a nice sit, although Affy casts the Izyuk spell first, and is sitting about three feet above the ground*

You're right about this possibly taking a while, SJ. I've seen this picture before.

By the way, I'm unfamiliar with this strange person who is only understood through his ability to have subtitles magically appear before him. What's his story? What're his powers? I don't sign on to an adventure unless I know *exactly* what I'm getting into. Unless discovery is part of the mission, as was the case in the Zork Trilogy....

[YK] Chupon? Ask Liz.

[Liz] Ask Ultros.

[Ultros] Ask Meester Chupon!

[Chupon] Fungahhh!

[YK] Er. I'll send you an e-mail with a picture of Chupon being battled onboard the Airship "Blackjack". And some sort of explaination. The fact is, I can't explain who or what Chupon is.

[Liz] So when are we going?

(* Not happy with Liz*) I'm a JOKE? I reeaaally don't have to take this, I can leave anytime I want, I'm not under conntract. So, here are your choices: you can either start treating me with a little respect or I can walk out of here and detonate the bomb that I've placed killing you all and keeping the money. So whats it gonna' be? I don't care what that crazy voice says I turn in to, I'm just doin' this for the money. And I could care even less if you get into STUMPED or not.

[Narrator] What voice? Me?

[Liz] Yes you! Shut up!

[The narrator grumbles incoherently]

[Liz] Right. Let me put it this way, SJ. If I like how you behave, I'll give you some of my powers once the Krymla Leader gives them back to me. In addition to you getting the 2000 credits. Deal?


SJ, we've only talked about this IRL, so don't mention it.

Well, as soon as I see the URL, we can head off. But just for the record, this is going to be my last technical "adventure" for quite some time.

[Liz] Right. Let's go. http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F44379?thread=116337