h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i have been so unfaithful to my page here. it's very difficult to balance time between my webpage, my online diary, my virtual fish, preventing my toaster from taking over the world, and being bored, and my page here. i am untalented. ok, that's a lie. i am talented, but i don't know what to do here with the space i have. i don't know how to do any cool tricks and make my site nifty. maybe i should learn. maybe i could try again at it. maybe, but right now, i am busy torching the bunny people. DOWN WITH WINDOZE!!!

Have more faith, it's a beautiful page and I like your writing.
Maybe you should let your toaster have the fun, though. I once had a similar problem with handkerchiefs. They tried to take over my room. When I bought some, they instantly vanished. Silently they crept through hidden passages and appeared in strange places, forming mythical patterns.
At first, I tried to resist and locked them up in the fridge, but soon I gave in and let them take control.
Now they reign and it made me...
... a total loony, well, ok... but...
oh, never mind, will you?

thank you very much.
i have had that same problem with handkerchiefs. i locked them in the freezer. they haven't bothered me since...... my toaster is evil, trust me, i had to smash the last one i left have free rein........

Erm, this new picture on your page,...
Is this really you?
Gosh!

oh of COURSE it is me! LOL
it's close enough without really putting my picture up. i can't be that vain now can i?

But what ever happened to all this red long hair?
And where do these ...
*looks again at the new picture*
... oops, it's gone.
What have you done?

i screwed up adding new cheap pictures.
and what do you mean what happened to all my red hair? do i know you in the meat world?

Well, ever noticed a figure following you silently, hiding quickly in the shades whenever you take a look?
That's me.
No, I meant the other picture. You have had a picture on your page, showing a girl with long red hair, haven' you??

i think i might have. i know i have my picture on the beginning of my web page, but i don't remember (other than the drawn one) if i had any others.
SPAM.

> SPAM
*looks puzzled*
hmmm.
*completely lost now*

lost? surely you know what spam is. i had a blond moment and felt the compulsive need to repeat the words of the great masters of wasting time.

Well, of course I know what spam is, that is I just know the word as internet jargon, meaning unsolicited e-mail and newsgroup postings.
Sorry if you felt spammed, that wasn't my intention.
*shrugs and vanishes into the air*

no, i meant monty python-esque spam. you aren't bothering me. now be careful, if you vanish, i'll be forced to throw glitter on you to make you reappear.

Ah, I see. Things are a bit confusing sometimes.
The problem might be that...
no, I just cannot tell you that...
it's just too embarrassing...
*looses the fight with himself*
OK, there! I'm the only human being that has never seen the spot.
I don't know how it could happen, I was quite a fan when they showed it on TV here.
But somehow, well I missed it.

btw, there seemed to have been another misunderstanding. The picture. I meant the drawn one, when I asked, whatever happended to your hair. I think, when you rebuilt your page, I loaded it in a moment, when this picture was gone, and there was only the other one, the one with all the skulls, you know? The funny thing was, that you still had the other text beneath the skull-picture, the one where you say, 'that's me..."

Hell, things can get almost as confusing as in RL!

aha! *slap head then quickly looks for the stuffing* i see. so you're the only one who hasnt seen it? it's okay, i'll keep your secret.
i was trying to use the new stuff to add my real pic and it wont let me. maybe it's a sign.
yes, things do get confusing. like when you are trying to type and the computer makes you mispell everything..
so where is here?

you're right about the spelling, my computer f***'s that up, too. And the grammar...

'here' is Austria, small fascist country in Middle-Europe, boring people, dull weather.
*looks out of the window and shudders*

motd: never trust a computer, you haven't broken yourself!

if i look out my window, all i can see is trees and the faint smear of the town below. you gotta love living at the top of a mountain. "here" for me is a mountain in the US, land of the fat and stupid. but not me, thankfully. so do you have a name? well, obviously you do, but do i get to know it? if i am being to forward, i'm not sorry, i am a curious chap.

no problem.
philipp, that's my name most of the time
I don't know if I'd like it on a mountain, but in my current state, I think I'd give it a try...
are you having one of these transsexual cyber-experiences, or can chap be used for a girl too?
*Me being a very curious person, too *

chap can be used for a girl too.
well, if you're so curious, ask away.
unless you have aohell instant messanger, then you could just ask there.

hmmm, i'm running linux here and haven't yet installed any chat software
but well, I'll ask anyway:
sex: seems to be answered (sorry, can't get used to 'gender', it's ridiculous)
name ?
why do you live on a mountain?
could you cast some mighty spell to make a jump in time? (something aroung march would be ok.)

that's it for now...