h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've had my new car going on for five months now. This afternoon some took it out.

I wasn't there at the time it happened, I was in work, slowly broiling in 40 degree heat. I only found out what's happened when I was ready for leaving for home. As I got to the car I find the side trim hanging off and the driver's side rear wheel arch caved in. Needless to say I wasn't impressed.

What impresses me less is what happened when I reported it to the site security. They claim that the lone security camera they have (helpfully at the other end of the car park), doesn't swing round and zoom in as far as where I was parked. And even if it did it wouldn't have today since it's being used to "keep an eye" on the workmen in the adjoining car park. Oh and they claim they did a tour of the car park at about 3.30 and didn't see anything. Yeah like I believe that!

It gets better. At the advice of my work colleagues I call the police, which I do, jump through their hoops for 15 minutes and then tell me they'll call back later. When they finally do they make me jump through the same hoops again only to tell me that because it happened on a public car park it's not covered by the Road Traffic Act 1988 (see http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts1988/Ukpga_19880052_en_1.htm for details on that one). And since there were no eyewitnesses, security footage or anything like that it's not a crime and not their problem. I've now got to fork out to get my car fixed for something I've not even done.

Guess that means I've not got to jump through mr car insurance's hoops. There goes the no claim bonus

Why won't anyone let me have something decent and good without either taking it away from me or destroying it?!?!?!?!?!?! What is it about me that makes everything be this way?!? I can't have anything, be it personal property, friends or significant others, someone always takes them from me.

welcome to my world mate, as soon as something goes right it goes wrong again. you're not alone anyway, least it didnt happen as an accident when you were *in* the car

You're definitely not alone mate - the most expensive thing I've bought in my whole life was a VW LT35 van, maroon, reg. number E132 BMX, not a mark or a scratch on the bodywork, 70,000 miles on the clock and good for at least another 150,000, and which cost me £7,500 - £6,000 of which was a bank loan that I had to continue to pay off for another three years after some stole it I only had the thing 18 months And then there was my beautiful brand new 15 speed bike that some stole from my garden shed.

Look at it this way - if your car is damaged, so is theirs. And next time you park up, take the number of the car on either side of you.

One more thing - GreyDesk claims that can almost always tell my journal entries by the subject line when it first appears in his postings. I can generally tell which ones are going to be Croz's

When I first read this, I stupidly thought that someone had nicked your car, given it spin round town then crashed it and returned it to you Considerate car thieves

Sorry about your car. You might have an eye-witness though - was Zak still in the back?

Yeah I do sound a bit like a scratched record at times. Maybe I need to adopt other people's subject styles to throw people off the scent

No I'd taken zak out of the car as I was getting funny looks off people after I moved him from the parcel shelf to on top of the dashboard. Besides, even if he had been there I'm not sure the eyewitness statement of a beany duck would benefit me in any way other than a few months in a mental hospital.

they're nice places, they give you a free jacket and nice padded walls too very comfy , though a few points off for color choosing- bit stark all the white

I'm sure you can get some Crayola in there to do some decorating though.

I'm not allowed them. When I was four I melted an entire packet of crayons on a radiator, and watched as it ended up as a big brown blob on the carpet.

eugh brown blob of wax

How long did you have to spend in your room with no supper for that one Croz?

It happened at primary school. Nobody found out it was me.

blackmail Croz's secret primary school escapades

People say I'm quiet, shy and possibly too nice. They've never seen my evil vindictive side and those that do wish they never have.

Hey Croz I used to do that with plasticine in my bedroom

I got in trouble when my Mum hung some towels to dry (I used the wall side of the radiator).

Sorry to hear about your car.

*raises hand*
same problem, though I bottle stuff up so much people dont survive when I blow

Are there any paint marks on the dent? If so it may be worth having a wander around the car park tomorrow

(that was RE quiet and nice not plasatcine)

Couldn't see any paint marks just very deep scratch marks. it's definately going to need at least all new trim put on the right hand side, panel beating around the rear wheel arch and a respray all along that side. I have no idea how much that's gonna set me back, and I'd rather get it sorted without it putting a dent in my no claims. My premium is high enough, never mind sending it higher because of the utter incompetence of other wits.

Just remembered this to cheer myself up

http://www.luckykazoo.com/media/2005/03/e-sure-remix.html