h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Holds his Breath*

Beat Tinkerbell to the jukebox.

*objects to Bagpusses violent attitude*
Not likely...
*leaps in front of bagpuss and uses the credits Mr Z gave her to put on trashy pop songs*
Yeah!!!
*grins*
Now this is more like it
*wonders if she should ever reveal that she doesn't actually like SClub7 and would much prefer to listen to Moby*

Hey you never said you liked my singing when I sung, "Why does my heart feel so bad?".

I'm away in a big cream puff now.

That's low TB!

*Jigs about the room a bit while the effects of hi-strength alcohol wear off, and keeps getting disturbed by images of weather icons, for an undisclosed reason*

Anyone got any dairy confectionary? I feel an attack of the munchies coming on!

*passes Mr Z a cow dipped in white chocolate*

Hey, hey we're the Munchies.....

Thanks Mr W, but no!
I fear that Bovine Confectionary may cause me to contract the human form of mad cow disease. Is this a scottish delicacy, like battered Mars Bars?

No, it was a special creation from the kitchens of Wumbeevil's restaurant La Bonne Aubergine, a Buttercup Surprise.

We do like certain things battered in this cold dark land, tho I believe Paul Gascoigne slightly misunderstood this when he was trying to fit in.

*realises she's now run out of SClub7 songs*
Ummm...
*glares at Wumbeevil*
Bad taste joke WB, not amused!

Anyway, battered Mars Bars ain't Scottish they're northern! I object and wish to take credit for our great northern delicacy of manky batter and icky chocolate combo

Aaaargh, not a glarey fairy.

*Decides to swallow his pride of white chocolate lions and become a gender traitor*

What do you call a woman without an asshole?
Divorced

Happy now TB? Let's hear you tell that one to the Good Fairy Council.

Deep fried Mars Bars are northern? You're expecting me to be pedantic about 'northern' here, so I won't bother. Instead I'll just say, "Does this mean you are also claiming credit for Mr. Gascoigne?"

err, not you personally, you understand.

In the interests of good taste (and my own well-being) I've decided not to pursue the 'great northern delicacy of manky batter'.

*ducks and runs*

Mmm white chocolate...
*munches on a Milky Bar*
Whatever happened to Snow Flakes anyway, you couldn't really have eaten them ALL could you WB? I bet they've stopped making them like the white chocolate aero's they got everyone hooked on and then rudely revealed that they were limited editions...

*laughs*
Thank you WB, I like that joke

You know very well I meant northern as in northern England... but never mind as Gazza was a great footballer in his day, and he deserved his place on the England Team but that's all I'm saying

Good taste? When have you ever been interested in good taste... I guess you must really dislike being a Fruit Bat

Err, Tink, didn't you notice the rather unusual shape of that Milky Bar. Yes I'm afraid it's another of my gourmet creations, a young goat dipped in white chocolate - The Milky Bar Kid.

I dunno about the snowflakes, every one of the shops I usually go to never has any in stock. The last time I had one was in December, even Santa didn't bring me any.

Ah I'm a fruit bat am I? I thought I'd managed to redirect that to Widdy? Ah I see, a manipulative winged-type person made me talk myself out of that persona. I guess I'm just putty in your wands.

*Squeaks* be careful what your doing with Peregrin's one.

Oh, I dunno, being a Fruit Bat has its advantages, altho you do have to be a good bat, thus the sudden interest in good taste. If you're not they take you away and pack you into the Fruit Bastille.

This is weird... We've been away so long that Sclub have spawned and even I don't like them

*enters the bar wearing a pair of overalls and wheeling a sackbarrow. Goes towards the old Jukebox and removes the "out of order" Sign. Gives it a good kick and unplugs it. Sticks it on the trolley and heads for the door* If anyone is interested there is a brand new upgraded Jukebox over there >> http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F24306?thread=227051 Be seeing ya! Z.

I think I'll stay here thank, no sclub spawns...

Oi! You come back with that jukebox, I've still got two farthings worth of music to hear and I'm not missing George Formby's latest hit because you're trying to organise some sort of jukebox monopoly.

*spins round and changes into Superlagerman protector of pre-Gareth and Darius jukeboxes everywhere*

*falls down*

that always happens. Where's David Hasselhoff when you need him?

Come on Tink, fight and you may get fairy bruises, run and you won't scare kids from the top of their Xmas tree. But dying in the teacups many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our Mr Z that he may take our lives, but he'll never take our jukebox?

OK Tink give me a hand to stand up and we'll stop this guy. Here's the plan. You use some to turn him into a can of super lager and I'll drink him. That should put a stop to this kleptowurlitzerism.

Errr.... I think Menza tried to take the monoply off me in the first version! Not sure if it worked but thought this thread was dead and buried! And unless Menza has anything to say, I've already chopped the plug off this one and disemboweled it! The new one has also developed another interesting bug - it won't play anything in the present uk top20!! It's got more bugs than Windows! Tho some of these ones are beneficial!! http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/F24306?thread=227051 *Heads over to stop grand theft muso!*