h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So you like Australian beer then?

Work of a biological nature? I must know.

You mean you don't already know?

I'm sure a prolonged trawl of the forums would rekindle me memory - I vaguely recall having this conversation before, but that old Drumroll is a bit destructive to the brain cells.

I'll have your biggest bucketful please, kind barkeep.

*tries to conceal red puffy eyes and tears*

I'll have something for depression. I'm very very sorry everyone.

I was good. I've been happy for a very long time....


*cries*

Awww, here have a c(_)of Drumroll and a bag of cheese & onion flavoured crisps.

Tell me all about it. * begins cleaning glasses *

*drinks c(_) and starts to munch crisps*

*starts to feel less upset*


I think that's as good as it's getting. You don't wanna know what's happened. I'm technically not meant ot be upset because I'm the bad guy, but that makes it even worse for some reason.


Whoopsy..

Hey, bad guys and villains are an oft-misunderstood bunch. If it wasn't for them, those little goody-twoshoes "heroes" would be nothing (you can only rescue so many puppies)!

Suppose I want them to be nothing..?


Hey barman, gimme something with pears in.

Strictly speaking I'm not the barman, but.... *hands over a tin of pears*

*leans over the bar and adds some Drumroll*

That'll do nicely.

*sits on the bar and sighs happily*

You ought to watch those mood swings, if you don't mind me saying so. *helps himself to a of drumroll*

*makes a face*

I kinda hoped I could stay a kid forever, but if growing up means I can drink, drive, go on the internet for however long I like and make love to everyone (though not all at the same time) then I'm willing to take the risk!

So, this thesis thingy then? (Oooh! Unintentional alliteration!)

You are not pregnant are you?
*goes through the worst scenarios again*
*gets headache*

A drumroll please, a big one!
-B-

Have you been shot?

*aside* quick everyone - look to see if the Drumroll comes out of unusual holes when he drinks.....

*Looks around a little bewildered*
Who? Me?
Are guns allowed in here? *Cluthes handbag a little closer to bosom*
Maybe I need one afterall
Shot of your strongest please~
-B-

I don't know, I go away for a few days and the F&F gets violent

*hands of Dominican rum over counter*

That should be strong enough.

Ah! Mr Za@@e, a of your finest, if you please. What news?

*passes over *

Not much news really, had a good weekend away. Missed the F&F though.