h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*up ends whiskey bottle and drinks half*

G'night.

*passes out on floor*

They're real big on self-service here, aren't they?

* somersaults over bar, gently moves Mensa@@e aside onto the potato chips *

Who's for a pint of McGumpeeler's Guinness? Potato chips are kinda being used at the moment, you'll have to have either nuts or pretzels.

Gently places a lemon in Mensa@@e's hand.

There. Now you have the whole cure. My guess is by the time you wake up you either won't remember the sore throat, or your headache will be so bad you won't notice it.

Has anyone been put to sleep on the pretzels recently? I do prefer them whole...

*slowly wkaes up, and absentmindedly squashes lemon into forehead*

Anyone got any paracetamol?

Aren't there some paracetamol behind the bar somewhere? Under the crisps, perhaps.

Cheers, found them. Now to find some water.

Water? Water.... oh yes, I remember that! You couldn't find me some Drumroll while you're there, could you?

Well that is my job I suppose. Here you go, enjoy. I couldn't find any water so I had to make do with vodka.

Howdlydoodlydodley folks. Pint of Drumroll, please Feeling froody.

Barkeep, a quadruple JD's to help me wash down this bottle of tablets...

*hands over drinks*

Dont you just love mixing medication with alcohol?

*stares blankly at the wall for a moment*

That wall is making rude gestures at me.

With these pills?

It'll be more a case of *gulp* *swallow* "Farewell friends" *gone for good*

Might be depressed. I'll talk to it.

Hello wall. Depressed? I would get you a pint of Drumroll but it's making me rusty so I won't on principal. Though I don't know why i have principals. They never got me anywhere. Peanut?

*sid limps in with a huge swollen ankle*

Evening all!, any Black Sheep Menz mate?

Hey EV, can I borrow your stick to prop myself up?

*looks at the SPB-Matic 2000, attempts to say something, but can't*
For heaven's sake, daSilva, what have I told everyone about committing suicide? Join the queue!

That has to a side effect of the pills.

*eyes Sid suspiciously* You won't try to steal it back, will you? And what happened to your ankle anyway?

*hands Sid a Black Sheep and a soft cusion*

EV could you have a, errr, word to the SPB. It just scared the living daylights out of me.

*hands a pint of drumroll to EV*

Errr, yes. Hang on. *opens up the SPB-Matic 2000 and removes the voice chip* Shouldn't be any trouble now...

Cheers for that, has anyone found out what Sid did to his leg?