h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

All those contemplating suicide move to the left and you shall recieve double rations of beer.

wait. it just sounded to me that he was going to go fly away for a bit. you know, people do that sometimes. remember, that the secret is to not hit the ground.
hi all! i just popped in for a second to see who was about. glad to see that all is normal here (well, as normal as possible). gotta go, time to find some dinner.
here kitty kitty kitty

kalu

I've got a cat you can eat.

*plunks a heavy-looking handbag on bar*
I think I have a delicious recepy on cat in curry here somewhere...
-B-

*moves to the left*
I'm not really contemplating suicide, but I like the sound of double beer rations!

Good, first customer of the day. One stein of drumroll commin' up.

Much obliged. How's the old throat today?

I still hurst and I had a bit of trouble eating lunch.

Perhaps soup might be a good option...

*hangs head in shame and won't look EV in the eye*

Soups aren't what they used to be in the "good old days"...

Lunch was soup.

Now that is sad Menz! I had a BK Double Whopper with fries, Mmmmmm mmmm....

And my friends don't know that my job is to turn Lead into Gold.

*wanders in nonchalantly whistling and then bits Sidney hard on the ankle*

Jesus!!! what was that for Grim!!!!!

*shakes ankle catapulting Grim across the room*

You behave Grim or I'll get my WD40 out!

I usually don't like fights but as its you two I think I'll sit here and watch.

You see, Sid, if you hadn't given me your prize stick you might have the upper hand here!

This could prove interesting then.

I *know* I left my pet outside for a bit, but he's purrfectly happy out there and you can guarantee that no-one will steal anyone's bicycle. Of course, anyone won't care to pick it up but can't have everything.

Just a warning though. Any attempting to eat kitty is definitely in the "suicide" queue and probably at the front

try some semolina with chocolate flakes and hundreds and thousands stirred in. that always makes me feel better when I have a sore throat.

Sore throat? sore throat?

Hot water, lemon juice and a generous slosh of whisky, nothing else for it, my good, er..yes. Mine's a red wine. Brrr..cold night.