h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've got to admit that I try to avoid grapefruit early in the morning; I'm too clumsy to either:

a) prepare grapefruit skilfully so juice expulsion events don't occur
b) duck

However, I've noticed that a similar phenomenon occurs when trying to squeeze a wedge of lemon over a nice bit of fish, or a chunk of lime into a suitably appropriate alcoholic beverage. Three things can happen:

1) Squeeze fruit. Juice goes in / on desired object. So do pips.
2) (If you're on your own) Squeeze fruit. Juice goes in your eye.
3) (If you're with others) Squeeze fruit. Juice goes in someone else's eye.

The aim of citrus fruit is uncanny - it's similar to the habit of coins to shoot off under the nearest heavy and immovable object when you drop them.

Is this a self-defence mechanism? How do we stop them doing it?

Azimuth

Your prose has caused me to ask myself some interesting questions. If it is indeed a self defence mechanism by cirtus fruits then are the fruits sentinent? and more importantly are they plotting to take over the world? Their ability to blind an entire population in mere moments at the time when people are most vulnerable (ie. early in the morning, at a bar with friends ect.) is so obvious that it can easily be overlooked. Their cleverness manifests itself in yet another way, as their inherent yummyness has caused us to grow them in large amounts in Florida and numerous other places ensuring that their numbers will remain srtong. My suggestion? i suggest that you, I and anyone else who reads this, petition our local governments to initiate a full scale investigation into the behaviour of citrus fruit. We cannot afford to allow the human race to become subservient to a bunch of tangy round fruit.