h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How did you do that? I am on the other side of the globe with the Moon. I was configuring the odds that the thought Police had eventually caught up with me. My electro-physiological circuits began to pulse as I am low on solar power and do not have the reserve microstatic energy to drive my toilet plunger to get me out of here. Any suggestions? OVER.

I'm sorry, you're talking to the wrong person. I absolutly refuse to have anything to do with toilet plungers, they inevitably turn out nasty.
And as for the thought police, have your brain surgically removed and stored in a safe location, they'll soon get bored and drift away...

I can't tell you how many times I have gotten up in the morning and thought how great it would be to leave the old brain on the sideboard whilst I go out for the day.

I used to think that until i tried it. I was a mess, sugar on my chips, salt in the (not mine, luckily), cracked an egg into the bin and was about to put the shell in the pan! That was not a good day.