h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A very descriptive use of colour & space.


;^)#

Oh that's cruel.

Whoops. Once again I opened my mouth before counting to ten. Just as well. We have two places to go now.

[a] Sub-editors Public Forum
http://www.h2g2.com/P190126

But let's wear this place out first before attacking that one.

And that's a very acute summary of my sexlife right now. Very well done. *smirk*

Couldn't resist it Zach

Well considering my life right now it's probably just as well.

Well heck since this thread is about my sex life I might as well talk about it.

Every woman in my life is either gay, married, overtly religious, or uniquely uninterested. Not just in me but in anybody. It's very frustrating.

I went off on a tangent but I'll just move that to a different thread.

I moved it to a user page because I'm a longwinded butthead.

Zach's Diet
http://www.h2g2.com/A190630

Heh. I'm afraid my sex life is in the same shape as Zach's. And even worse my body's in about the same shape (I'm an inch shorter, possibly a few pounds lighter, but probably not much) and I need to be doing something about it. (Thanks for writing about it by the way, may help spur me into action.)

To that list of "every woman in my life is either" I must add too far away and, oddly enough, too young.

There are also the problems of: too cautious, too committed to other things, too angry or aggressive, and too pragmatic...

Ouch! I kept saying, 'None of the above, none of the above...' until I got to Hypoman. Bingo!

For the record, my sex life had improved considerably in the past thirty some odd weeks, then tapered off. Now it's sort of so-so. I would go into detail but this is a family guide. =)

If any attractive women in the Dallas area would be interested in helping to improve my sex life, please feel free to contact me.

I have now narrowed down my field of interest. I used to be much less particular but by dating many people one learns what doesn't work for them. So the process of elimination now includes the following:

* She must be between the ages of 23 and 41. (I'm 32)
* She must at least have some college education.
* Anorexic or bony is unacceptable (not to mention painful). She should look healthy and proportionate to her height. A little overweight is better than underweight.
* No cats.
* No virgins.
* No diseases.
* No children in tow.
* She should not be any crazier than myself.
* She must like broccoli, hate chinese food, adore Billy Joel music, and have no interest in sports.

I'm not asking for perfection here...

Oh! I can't believe I almost forgot this one. This one's very important. No past drug history unless it was a real bummer. I can't tell you how impossible it is for my limited capacity as a sexual dynamo to compete with the memory of an acid trip. I've been told I beat cocaine and heroin and marijuana, but I just can't generate an orgasm in a woman that's better than LSD. So, no druggies.

Hey Zach, great to see you here man. If only I lived closer to the Dallas area, you sound like such a catch...

Girls, I've heard Zach's speaking voice, and it's gorgeous, I've known Zach for ages and he's ultra-cool, so 'go girlz go'!