h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A snowbird is a seasonal resident. In Florida, the snowbirds arrive in late autumn and stay till Easter. Except for circus employees and baseball teams, all snowbirds are retired people.

They all seem to have arrived this week. On one day I was able to drive around town fairly normally, without hindrance ... and the next day I was in fear of my life. Cars with Michigan, New York, Illinois, Ontario or Quebec plates are bumbling about the roads, behemoth cars driven by what appear to be shrunken heads. Cadillacs (surely the ugliest luxury car in the world) and Lincolns, or Buicks with enough draft to house a village of Somalians, they drift down median strips with majestic irresolution.

And of course they are at all the places of purchase, stocking up the condo kitchens, and navigating their shopping carts with the same blithe disregard for life's little schedules. Today I was cut in on twice by northerners switching lanes in the middle of a turn, saw a Cadillac "Liberty Edition" (vulgar swank) at the wholesale discount place, and finally had my foot run over by a trolley whose owner was wearing plaid trousers and sunglasses indoors.

He did not apologize.

Thank god I don't commute any more. This year looks to be worse than the previous.

If the offensive person in question was Canadian, I apologise on their behalf. Unless he was a Quebec Separatist.

I am in absolute agreement. I live in Chandler, Arizona... Just outside of Phoenix. This, like Florida, is a haven for these poor driving northerns, and their GIANT recreation vehicles, converted buses, and of course cadillacs.

I was driving East on Interstate 10 through Phoenix one day, it is a 4 lane road, divided where I was, I came up on a Cadillac going about 50mph. Mind you, the speed limit is 65mph, so I had every intention of passing this person. Well, as I began pulling up along side, they swerved into my lane. I backed off, tried again, and again, swerving all over the road this big ugly white Cadillac forced me to back off. Eventually the swerving calmed down, and I was able to safely get up and around this driver. As I was passing I looked over with every intention of flippin' this person the bird, but found myself scared and in shock instead. The driver of the vehicle was busy, not driving, but messing with the controls of his oxygen tank that was sitting on the passenger seat.

Hey cowboy --

One thing I was warned about was, absolutely never honk your horn at elderly drivers who are behaving erratically. You might give them a heart attack.

My dad had emphysema and had to wear portable oxygen, but he had the sense to make only short journeys, and only when absolutely necessary. You do know that those portable oxygen units are only good for 4 hours .... It IS scary.

Lil

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything in particular against the elderly. I just feel that at a certain age, your driving privledges should be limited to golf carts on the green.

I sure hope mine are.

I agree: the young boys in their redneckmobiles are the greater actual hazard.

But the snowbirds attract road rage because they are transplants, I think. Whether one is old or young, you're a bad driver if you're not paying attention to the road because you're fiddling with your oxygen supply, applying makeup in the rear view mirror, changing your t-shirt or talking on the cellphone.

Lil