h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Flame , here to offer congratulations for another piece selected for the <./>underguide</.>.

As before, an UnderGuide Gem Polisher will be in touch for any final revisions or tweakings you might want or they might suggest before creating a UG copy of the entry to be featured on h2g2's Front Page one week.

Congrats again, and thank you another excellent UG entry .

Hearty Congratulations to you Flameisgold on yet another well deserved Entry to the UnderGuide!

This was a winner from the second you posted it!


Ron

Hi!

Thanks for selecting my work.

Flame

Hi all,

I'll just join in the chorus of approval, if i may!

I love the tone of this piece, evoking sights and sounds really well and thereby carrying the reader into the setting, making the scene feel 'real'.

The descriptions of the old man, too, really gave me a personal mental picture, yet it is all done in subtle touches, like the lines on his face "breaking out into a thousand wrinkles." Terrific.

One little suggestion: Wouldn't you prefer 'tack' for 'tact' in: "Seeing my face crumple, she quickly changed her tact."?

Oh, and I think you've lost an 's' in: "old man' expression blank as he stared out absently across the water."

Anyway, a great read and a real achievement, !

Cyaround
Spiff

Thanks Spiff

Hey there!

First of all, it's great to see this back here. And now I have to honour of saying that I'm your polisher for this piece for the UG! Aren't I lucky?

You'll be able to find the UG version at A6642047. If you have anything you would like changed or any comments then please drop me a line.

Kat

Mmmkay I've put it into Guide-ML and moved a very very few bits of punctuation around. I know how it can be frustrating if people start fiddling around too much with your baby, so when I found myself altering words I stopped and pasted back over the original copy I sometimes find that I get so absorbed in the story that I start laying claim to it.

So anyways, yes I've done a spot of polishing. Let me know if there's anything you don't like and then once we're happy I'll send it off for the <./>FrontPage</.> queue!

Kat

Hi Kat,

Thanks for polishing my work. You've done a great job. Thank you.

Flame