h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Witness - A4832723
Author: Flameisgold - U1652413

This could be my story, it could be any woman's, it could be yours....

I've read this now. I don't have anything else to say really right now, just that I've read it, and whilst it's not my story, it's very similar to my story.

Thank you for sharing
Kat

Gosh, flameisgold, what a story !!

Very real, and very frightening. Every woman's worst nightmare

Hi Flame,

This, to my eyes, is the best piece you have posted for us to review to date. The style of 'The Witness' is noticably on a higher plane than your previous submissions. The descriptive expressions are-and I hope you don't mind my saying this-vivid, and somewhat more mature than the earlier stories. This does not mean that I think the other stories are weaker; rather that the subject matter calls for the higher 'vocabulary' of expression, and you have consciously risen to that demand on yourself.You are, then, capable of writing at this higher level as and when you wish.
The Christmas story called for a gentler mode of expression,so you pitched it thus!
I shall read this a second time, but as of now I have only found 2 small errors: About halfway down the page: Should that be...'And then as if she had 'wished herself' far away.'
And a little lower down...'blanks of the night before...' You will spot them on reading again.
A 'mature' work. (Doesn't mean the others aren't mature, but 'pitched' lower by design!)

Ron

Dear Flame I read your story today and felt compelled to send you my thoughts. I am sure many readers will understand when I say my skin froze and my hair stood on end while reading this harrowing account of abuse. You have a gift that many on this site aspire to, and many will never achieve. I urge you to share this gift with a wider audience, to enable all to gain insight into your vivid imagination.

I joined this site myself last year, unfortunately at a time when I was suffering writer's block!

Now I am back and you have given me inspiration! Thank you so much Flame.

I hope we can talk some time.

MUF

Flame,

I just skimmed it and was struck by its power.

I'll try again later.

Awesome.

x

Thanks for taking a look Xantief.

Flame