h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Mina

I just popped by to say hello. It is difficult to know what to say to you, because though I have seen you around, and I am sure you have seen me around, I don't think we have actually talked directly to each other before.

I have said what concerns me in the post I have just put in "Can't beleive this". I am genuinely concerned that a mob should not form. And I would hate to be on the receiving end of a mob, myself.

Apart from that I think you are in a delicate position, and I would like to hear something from the Italics on this one. Unfortunately, this issue has been raised at the same time as all the banning, and tempers are already frayed.

One final thing, which does upset some people, is that I can like people and disagree with them at the same time. And if I do, I will say so, which can be upsetting to people. But it does not mean that I like them or respect them any the less. It just means that I respect their right to their opinion, and my right to mine. I do not yet know if I disagree with you, but if I do, and I say so, but it does NOT mean I am dissing you.

That's about it. Good luck!

Ben

Hi agcBen, thanks for coming over to reassure me. I do appreciate it.
I haven't answered your post in that thread, as I wasn't sure how much of it you were addressing to me personally, and I think I've made my point known on most of the issues you raised. I definitely don't want to raise the one about rape again, as I wasn't happy about it the first time. Not there anyway.

Thanks as well for explaining the comment you made about the debate and the forum. It did puzzle me, and although the topic has drifted from what it was originally, I'm happy to keep talking about it, as long as I am not repeating myself.
I liked the comment about the witch hunt, I also wasn't sure when you posted that at first if I was the hunted or the hunter, but I can assure you, being alone in the castle doesn't mean I am undefended. The door is stout, the walls are thick, the oil is heating. One day my prince will come... If the mob comes first, then I have the fortitide to stay standing under the onslaught.

I'm perfectly happy with people disagreeing with me, it's fine. If you do disagree with me, then feel free to say so. I do not think any the less of people for doing it. The way they do it, sometimes becomes a problem. I do have enough respect for you that I'm sure that will not be a problem.

Again, thanks for coming here and posting. I do appreciate you taking the time. If you did want me to comment on anything in that post, then let me know here, and I'll make sure I do, even if it's only referring back to previous posts I have made.

Hi Mina

Reading the post again, I see you are quite right. It is unclear what is addressed to you, and what isn't.

I think the primary issue is: "is harm being done"? It is quite clear that no-one will ever know the answer to that, unless in a few years time someone says "h2g2 changed my life for the worse". So we have to ask "could harm be done"?

I guess ones response to that is - um - bound up in ones attitude to bondage and sexual risk.

In many respects this is too complex for me, and takes me into areas where I have not gone.

One thing which has not been discussed is the matter of peers. I am not going to blether about peer pressure, (and that is *not* a Lucinda-style or Colonel-style insult, it is a definition of boundaries). But there is a lot of research about how people are influenced by what they see, read, watch, and hear. I stopped watching East Enders, because I started shouting at my ex for no good reason.

I have been thinking about what I would have done if I had come across the opportunity to participate in something similar when I was in my early teens. My guess is that I would have read for a while and then participated online. I think it would have altered my attitudes to sex. I cannot say if that would have been a 'good' thing or a 'bad' thing. My guess is that those adjectives are almost meaningless in the context of consensual sex. But I am aware that sex is a very powerful thing, and very close to the core of people's personalities.

I am not sure whether there is anything I want you to respond to, though I would be interested in your views about the participatory nature of the threads, and about influence, if you would like to make them known. Consensual conversation!

I don't think I would have been 'damaged' by what I have read in the threads I have read. But I am not convinced that no-one could be.

Sorry to produce such random ramblings. It is still something I am thinking a lot about.

All the best, Mina.

Kind Regards

Ben

I'm supposed to be making not being online, so I'll come back and answer this later.
I didn't want you to think I am ignoring you when you might have seen me post elsewhere. Some responses need more thought.
Take care for now.

Hey, I should be clearing the place up before my landlady visits. A cup of is a *really* good idea.

Reply when and if it feels good to you. No pressure. I am not the police, and you absolutely have the right to remain silent, ignore me, think things through, do the housework, ar get otherwise tied up in any way that seems good on a Sunny Sunday morning.

Take care, and thanks for the info about the Colonel. It makes a LOT more sense now.

Ben

Hi agcBen, finally I have had time to get my thoughts together. Despite posting all over h2g2 today (including other responses to you), I still wanted to devote time to you here.

I want to share a little of my personal history with you, and indeed, with all of h2g2, as nothing here is private. It is strangely pertinant to your question about participation changing attitudes to sex. That I can mention it here shows how much I trust the spirit of h2g2 not to judge. The people that will not like it may be disgusted, but I think I have learnt over the last few days that my friends will not. Whether you will be disgusted I don't know, but I trust that you will not react in a way that others have to me recently.

When I was very young, at least in primary school as I was in the brownies, I spent a lot of time with my cousins. One girl was a few years younger than me. Well, memory fails here as to who was the instigator here, but we played spanking games with hairbrushes on naked bottoms. I would probably say it was me, as I have been having bondage fantasies for as long as I can remember, but she was a willing partner, and if I tell you that it was her that was doing most of the spanking, then that might be easier to believe.
I won't go into any more detail, as this was well before puberty for both of us.
I have grown up to be interested in bondage, but as I said, I was interested before. Many is the time that I have been asked to do something and I have refused, all the while thinking 'but if you just do it anyway, I won't stop you.' This includes advances from another cousin (older, male) when I was only 8. Not because I was interested at that age, certainly not in a relation, but because I am natually submissive, and I was very young. (For the record, no one ever did 'do it anyway'.)
My female cousin has grown up with no interest in anything of this kind. She is now married, and has the straightest sex that is possible, and they are very happy.
This is why I don't think that any child that reads and then maybe participates in anything I do on h2g2 would be affected. Because I have seen that one child who really did it, remained unaffected. am I wrong to think that every child would be the same? Maybe I am. Maybe not all children would be the same, but I haven't seen any evidence that I am wrong. And certainly none that proves it without doubt.

I didn't give the young lady in question the brand she requested, I didn't give an adult a brand when she mentioned it either. Would I have given it to the man I invented the brand for? I'm not sure. Probably. But as it happens, I didn't. If children are reading that thread, and they decide that they'd like to try it, even then, I see no more harm in that, than that same child reading the masterbation thread and deciding to try masturbation. There is a project about sexuality I believe somewhere, there is a page as a sort of club for the people on h2g2 that are not hetrosexual. I think any child reading, and deciding they would like to try any of these things is in no danger. BDSM people are very against child porn and exploitation, they would not allow a child to participate. Any child growing up to decide they like it, even if they hadn't thought about it before they see me and my postings, I really think that is not such a bad thing. That now grown child would be safe. BDSMers are very conscious that anyone receiving pain be safe, and receive no more than they want. Any child trying it with another child, I would expect to be the same as I was with my cousin. Do it a few times, and then one decide they didn't like it anymore, and the game stops.


I seem to have got on a bit of a hobby horse here, and I hope that my personal life hasn't disturbed you too much. I am trying to illustrate my point, and let you know why I feel that any child is safe with me.

Hi Mina

Thank you for such a considered reply.

Your account has not disturbed me at all, why should it? It is about the development of your sexuality, and you are clearly very secure, comfortable and happy with it. My views on consensual sex are not posturing, they are absolutely and genuinely what I think.

I want to think about what you have said, because there is a lot there.

Thanks for taking the time to post it.

Ben

Hi Mina

Thanks again for posting this, and for trusting me (and the whole wide world) with it.

What you have said accords with my own first-hand and second-hand knowledge of childhood games.

It is their OWN sexuality that the child is exploring, and it can only be understood in the context of the adult the child becomes.

I am just about to put a mile-long post in the Can't Beleive This thread. I think you will disagree with some of the points, and I think you may be pissed off with me for raising some of the issues. But I respect everyone's right to their own opinion, and that everyone includes me!

It was the witch-hunt element which disturbed me the most about the expulsion of LeKZ, and if this degenerates into a witch-hunt, I won't shut up, I will probably find myself standing next to the es. .

Take care

With love (if that is ok)

Ben

Actually, I am bottling out on that one. It seems to have fizzled out into Barton and Calamity Shroedinger, and she is doing really well on her own.

Least said soonest mended. I'll post it only if I think it will help, and at the moment I am not convinced it will.

If you want to see it, email me at [email protected].

All the best

Ben

"I have finally taken offence at seeing it in nearly all of his more recent threads."



B

That should be a ! Why is that damn hug smile so happy?

B

Thanks. It has been decided that my complaint is not going to be upheld, so Barton's post is probably back by now. I'm not sure that I agree with that decision, but like you, I agree they are entitled to disagree, and so I sit here pouting, but do nothing else.

I will email you for that unposted post, because it was obviously something you wanted to say. Sometimes threads move on before we can answer.

I still think Barton is 'picking on' people, as I have stopped answering him, he has started on Calamity. If it was really my actions he had a problem with, then my lack of response should make no difference.

I appreciate the , I'm not too unhappy, as I know that there are other people that agree with my views on Barton.

Can't think of a good smiley so for want of a better one.